Take Me Away
by Blood-InTheFields
Summary: Satsu realizes there's one person in this world she'll never be able to compete with. S/B B/F. Slightly femslash. C O M P L E T E.
1. Chapter 1

**New story ! Won't be long, make sure to leave reviews, it'll keep me inspired and motivated !**

**Enjoy :)**

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><p>She loves the way Buffy forgets everything when she's dancing. It makes her smile, it makes her heart beat faster. When Buffy stops from exhaustion and comes to join her around the small table, she kisses her lightly on the lips and Satsu loves that she's not afraid to show to the whole world that she's dating a <em>girl<em>.

Some days, Satsu feels lucky. Buffy is acting like the young woman she is, she forgets the burden of being a slayer, and they go out like a normal couple, do random stuff, and often make love. They don't live together, not yet. It's too soon, although Satsu clearly wouldn't mind. But Buffy avoids permanently the subject and Satsu doesn't push her. She doesn't want her to run away. She's patient, she tries her best to build a solid relationship. And sometimes, she has the impression that it works.

But then, she reminds herself that her feelings are not exactly reciprocated. Buffy hasn't said the magical three words to her yet, whereas Satsu keeps telling her how much she loves her. Buffy usually smiles and kisses her. Satsu knows how much Buffy cares about her, and for now it's enough. She's just afraid of the day when it will _not_ be enough anymore.

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><p>This day arrives more quickly than expected. By some coincidence, <em>she<em> is back in town. No one knows why, but she's here and there's obviously something that's worth staying for her. Satsu tries to look on the bright side : her relationship with Buffy has evolved. They are finally talking about moving in together.

One night, at some club, Satsu watches her girlfriend on the dance floor. She loses herself into the contemplation of her beautiful body moving graciously along the music. It's something that never ceases to amaze her. She likes to dance too, but she's never been that good. Actually she has never seen anyone matching Buffy on the dance floor.

_She_ is the only exception. As soon as she steps in, all the looks convey towards her. She doesn't have to ask for it. She has this aura of power and darkness surrounding her. It's almost impossible to resist. Satsu doesn't know a lot of people who would resist her.

She watches, helpless, as _she_ makes her way through the crowd and starts to shake her body like no one does. Satsu could swear this woman's not human. The way she rolls her hips, her hand tangled in her own hair, the other one caressing her own body, it's hypnotizing.

The distance is slowly closed between her and Buffy, and Satsu feels something she has never felt in her entire life. Jealousy. Fear. Immediately, she's on her feet and she joins her girlfriend on the dance floor. The blonde slayer smiles to her, and takes her hand in hers. Obviously she hasn't seen the brunette yet.

Much to her surprise, _she_ doesn't come any closer. Satsu quickly loses sight of her only to spot her at the bar a few seconds later. Staring at her. She is totally frozen in her seat and her eyes lock with Satsu's. Buffy is turning her back to her, she's still lost in the music and for once, Satsu's glad that Buffy isn't really paying attention to her surroundings. There's something shining into the brown eyes of the woman, and it sends shivers down Satsu's spine. But she doesn't break the eye contact. She doesn't want to, she _can't_. Satsu fights the urge to go and wipe the smirk that just appeared on her full, incredibly red lips. It's like she's mocking her.

Then she realizes that Buffy has been talking to her and she is forced to report her attention on her girlfriend. It's already three in the morning, and they quickly escape the club and its heated atmosphere.

The cool air hits her face and Satsu takes a deep breath as Buffy holds her hand. She feels a lot better, but she knows it's because _she_ is still inside.

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><p>She doesn't say anything about it to Buffy. She's pretty sure the slayer knew that <em>she<em> was there. Satsu has always envied this connection that links them to each other. She can sense when Buffy is close to her. But it's a whole different level for them. It's another kind of bonding. It is a thousand time stronger. Of course, Buffy was aware of her presence.

They make love that night, with a new kind of passion. Satsu has never seen Buffy so dominant and rough. She likes it, but something within her breaks slightly. She doesn't want to think about it.

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><p>Kennedy and Willow want to celebrate their five years anniversary. Satsu knows that <em>she<em> will be here too. But she can't say no to her friends, so she just smiles and says that she and Buffy will be glad to come.

It's a pretty amazing party, and most of the slayers are present, including all the Scooby-Gang. Xander holds Dawn's hand tightly and Satsu thinks that they make a very cute couple.

_She_ is not here yet.

Satsu uses this time to have fun with Buffy. They drink a lot and dance in the living-room, surrounded by their friends. It's a good night. It could have been a good night.

But here _she_ comes. And everyone looks at her, even Buffy. Satsu refuses to see what she thinks she's seeing in her girlfriend's eyes.

She stays by her side all night long, making it impossible for the other woman to approach Buffy without having to talk to her too. But that doesn't discourage her. Satsu is pouring Buffy and herself another drink when she catches up with them.

Buffy greets her awkwardly and Satsu places her arm casually around her girlfriend's shoulders.

"**You must be Satsu."**

God, even her voice is amazing, in her low, husky tone. She has some serious competition here. But there's no way Satsu will let her see how vulnerable she feels now. So she smiles and holds out her hand.

"**That would be me."**

"**I'm Faith."**

_She_ shakes her hand firmly, and Satsu winces slightly at the feeling of having broken one or two of her fingers. Shaking hands with the slayer ? Bad idea. She'll keep that in mind.

"**Yeah, I've heard about you."**

"**Really ?"**

But her cocky grin shows that _she_ perfectly knows that everybody has heard about her at least once in their life.

"**So, looks like you're the one who converted Miss Stick-up-the-ass to women, ain't you ?"**

Buffy almost chokes at her words and sends Faith a dark glare. But the other slayer doesn't seem bothered at all and just smiles even wider.

"**I always knew you weren't **_**that**_** straight, B. Chills."**

And after that last provocative sentence, she's gone. There's a small silence between Satsu and Buffy afterwards. Faith's words were charged with innuendos and Satsu feels her worst fears creeping slowly to the surface. That woman is dangerous. And Buffy has always been attracted by the danger.

"**Come on, let's have another drink."**

Satsu quickly agrees and they soon find themselves dancing again.

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><p>Satsu doesn't know how she ended up on the couch, but when she opens her eyes, she's lying down on it and the music volume has been considerably turned down. She groans because she probably passed out from all the alcohol and she has no idea where Buffy is. She can only spot Willow, Kennedy, Dawn and Xander. No sight of Faith either, and this statement makes her stomach flip.<p>

She doesn't have to ask to know that they are together. Satsu tries to get up but it's too soon and she immediately falls back down. The party's over, obviously, and the house is a disaster. Proof that it was a huge success. Willow and Ken don't seem too upset about it, so Satsu guesses they are pretty happy about their party.

Xander brings her a glass of water and she thanks him. Just when she's about to ask where the hell Buffy went, the front door opens and reveals two blurred silhouettes. Satsu blinks a couple of times and her vision is clearer.

It's Buffy and Faith. They are laughing. Together. And their arms are linked. It makes her want to throw up, but she has too much respect for her hosts to just do that. Instead she stands up carefully and Buffy lets go of Faith's arm to join her.

"**Hey ! How are you feeling ? You've been out for a while !"**

"**My head is throbbing, but it's fine. Where were **_**you**_** ?"**

She didn't mean for it to sound so harsh, but she's bitter and Buffy can sense it because her smile fades away.

"**I needed some fresh air and Faith was outside smoking. We just decided to go for a quick patrol."**

Satsu nods slightly and sits down. She has to stop feeling so insecure about Faith. She has to trust Buffy.

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><p>Xander and Dawn went back to their apartment a few minutes ago, and Willow is falling asleep on Kennedy's shoulder. It's no surprise, really, as it's already 6 in the morning. But <em>she<em> is still here, talking to Buffy.

They are like old friends who haven't seen each other in a very long time. Well, that's true. Except that Satsu knows that they were never friends. She knows everything about their past. Buffy told her at the beginning of their relationship that she had a complicated history with another slayer. Satsu got to hear the whole story, how their attempt to be friends failed, how Faith would always turn the most innocent sentence into something sexual, how they became enemies. How Faith tried to kill Buffy and her friends, as well as the part when she killed two humans. At this point of the story, Satsu already hated that woman she had never met. But then Buffy had told her about their final battle, and how Faith had helped them, how much she had changed, blah blah.

Satsu knew she shouldn't have to worry, because that Faith chick belonged to the past. But there was just something in Buffy's eyes that lit up every time she mentioned her and Satsu had started to fear that maybe there was a part of the story Buffy kept voluntary in the dark. None of it had really mattered until now.

Because now, Faith was back into Buffy's life. And Satsu didn't want to share.

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><p>Kennedy tells them that they can stay here for sleep and she carries Willow upstairs easily. It's just the three of them now. Buffy gets up from the couch and announces she's going to the bathroom.<p>

Satsu takes a deep breath as she remains alone with Faith standing in front of her.

"**So, why are you back here, Faith ?"**

"**Am I not free to go wherever I want to go ?"**

Satsu raises an eyebrow. Of all the things she learnt about Faith thanks to Buffy, she remembers that the former rogue slayer hated this town. Apparently, Faith guesses what's going through her mind because she chuckles and adds :

"**Well maybe I came back because I missed some people here."**

And the look in her eyes can't be misunderstood. She's messing with her. She's trying to make her say what she's wanted to say all night. Satsu knows she shouldn't give in, but it's stronger than her.

"**Stay the hell away from her."**

Faith raises an eyebrow and feigns to be surprised.

"**What are you talking about ?"**

"**You know it. She's with me."**

"**Oh. You're talking about B."**

"**Her name's Buffy."**

The brunette takes a step forward and says :

"**First of all, I came back here because Kennedy asked me to. She's my friend and she wanted me to celebrate her anniversary with Willow."**

Another step.

"**Second of all, if I want to call Buffy 'B', I will call her 'B' and no one will force me to do otherwise."**

Another step. Now she leans in and whisper in Satsu's ear :

"**And finally, **_**trust me**_** it's just a matter of time before she dumps your sorry ass."**

Satsu clenches her fists and tries her best to keep her cool. She knows that Faith could easily take her down if they started a fight. Speaking of Faith, she's already at the door and she has this smirk on her lips, the one that Satsu hates so much.

"**Goodbye Satsu. It was a pleasure to meet you. Tell B I'll see her later."**

And the door slams behind her. That's the moment Buffy choses to come back into the room. She looks around and asks :

"**Where's Faith ?"**

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><p><strong>So, what did you think ? Good or bad beginning ? I don't read the comics. I haven't seen season 7 yet, but I know about the destruction of Sunnydale, so Faith hates the town they are living in <em>now<em>. I chose purposely not to name the town or the club, it's all up to your imagination. Don't be too hard in your reviews, but be honest ! :) **

**OTH-FOQ**


	2. Chapter 2

_**This chapter's shorter than the previous one, but I think the next one will be longer. I don't know yet. Who cares about the length, anyway, as long as you like it !**_

_**Feedback is highly appreciated !**_

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><p>It's been a week since they last saw Faith. Satsu is glad but she can tell that Buffy is upset. She doesn't understand why the brunette has left without a word after the good time they spent together at Willow's. Satsu can feel the change in her girlfriend's attitude. Buffy seems a little down lately. And she'd do anything to cheer her up.<p>

"**Hey Buffy, why don't we go to that club tonight ?"**

"**Yeah, why not…"**

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><p>Satsu doesn't regret her decision when she sees Buffy's smile. It's been a couple of days without a real, warm smile from her and she was starting to get desperate. But clubbing always has this effect on Buffy.<p>

Or… Maybe that's because _she_ is here too.

As soon as Satsu catches sight of Faith, she sighs and swears internally. And to make things worse, Faith waves at them to join her on the dance floor. Buffy doesn't wait and takes her hand to lead her in the middle of the crowd.

That's gonna be one hell of a night, Satsu thinks.

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><p>They sit around a table, Buffy next to her and Faith on the opposite side. Satsu lets her hand on Buffy's thigh, to remind the other slayer that she's here with her. But Faith just smiles at her and keeps talking as if nothing has happened between them.<p>

The brunette leaves for a while to get them some drinks and Satsu loses no time : she kisses Buffy as if there was no one else around, as if there was no tomorrow. When they finally pull apart, a few minutes later, Faith is there, smirking.

"**Got a few tequila shooters for you lovebirds !"**

Satsu can't seem to understand why _she_ acts so cool after what she just saw. Maybe she has it all wrong. Maybe Faith doesn't want Buffy the way Satsu thinks she does. Or maybe she's just a very, very good actress.

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><p>They drink and talk, and Satsu slowly lets go of her barriers. She actually starts to have fun and to enjoy Faith's company, something she thought would never <em>ever<em> happen. But they joke, each of them tells the others a bit about their life and Buffy seems so happy that Satsu can't help feeling happy too. They drink, and drink again, even though Satsu knows she can't keep up the pace. The Chosen two handle alcohol much better than she does, even if Buffy is not so much of a drinker herself.

A new song starts and Satsu smiles because she knows this song is one of Buffy's favorites. She hardly feels her girlfriend's hand trying to make her get up. The room is spinning and Satsu has to hold on to Buffy's shoulders to keep her balance.

"**Okay, then I guess I'll just dance alone…"**

That's when Satsu catches the smirk on Faith's lips.

"**There's no way I'm letting the opportunity to dance with you again go away, B. Let's show them how it's done !"**

And as Buffy takes the hand Faith is holding out, Satsu understands that she's lost that battle.

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><p>She watches helpless as Faith has her hands all over Buffy's body and she wishes she could just get up and beat the crap out of this bitch. Buffy has never let <em>anyone<em> touch her while she's dancing, not even Satsu at the beginning of their relationship. But now her back is pressed against the other woman's torso and she seems to enjoy it a little bit too much.

Every other person in the club seems to have frozen and all the looks convey towards the middle of the dance floor where her girlfriend is dancing - no, almost _fucking_ - with another girl. Their obvious complicity breaks Satsu a bit more. She's drunk, yes, but not enough to not realize what's happening in front of her eyes.

If she had any doubts before, they're all gone.

Anyone in the club could tell that the chemistry between Buffy and Faith is undeniable. Satsu herself is forced to admit that they match perfectly. If she didn't know the two women, if one of them wasn't actually her girlfriend, she would easily believe that they were a couple.

Except that they're not.

And Satsu, as drunk as she currently is, can't stand this anymore. She gets up and manages to walk through the crowd without falling. She grabs Buffy's arm and it seems to bring the blonde back to reality.

"**Satsu ?"**

"**Let's go outside !"**

"**Why ? Come on, it's so much fun !"**

"**I need to talk to you !"**

The look on her face probably worries Buffy because she frees herself from Faith's embrace and follows Satsu out of the club.

It's worse now that they're alone, because Satsu can literally _feel_ how aroused Buffy is thanks to their small connection to one another. And her eyes are sparkling, which is a pretty rare thing lately. To be honest, Satsu has never seen Buffy so… alive.

"**What's the matter, Satsu ? Are you feeling bad ?"**

"**I'm fine."**

"**Well, you can barely stand on your own…"**

"**Do you love her ?"**

There's a small moment of silence during which Buffy stares incredulously at Satsu.

"**What ?"**

"**Please, Buffy. I need to know."**

Satsu feels like she's going to fall down in a second and she just doesn't want to do it in front of her girlfriend. Buffy frowns and takes a step backwards.

"**I don't understand… What are you talking about ?"**

"**Her ! I'm talking about her ! I've seen it ! Everything ! She's… She… She just knows."**

"**Hold on, there. Who knows what ?"**

Tears form in her eyes as she whispers :

"**Faith… She knows how to make you happy."**

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><p>Buffy just stands there, motionless, as Satsu finally bursts into tears, unable to keep them from falling any longer.<p>

"**I thought… I thought we had a real thing, Buffy. I thought that… maybe one day… you would love me back. But I should've known better… Oh God, I should've known it was her… all along. Just her…"**

The blonde slayer kneels down and takes Satsu's face in her hands.

"**Satsu… Satsu, look at me. Please."**

She wishes she could just say no, and run away from her, but she can't. Because of all the love she feels for that woman, and because her voice is so soft, and her hands are warm, and…

"**I don't want you to think that there's something between Faith and me. We're friends. I mean, we finally get along well after all these years… It's new to us. But I promise you there's nothing more."**

And Satsu laughs. It's a cold, sarcastic laugh, and it sends shivers down Buffy's spine because she's never seen her girlfriend like this.

"**Don't be stupid, Buffy. Don't… Don't be so blind ! That woman, there, she's… She's head over heels for you and you can't even see it !"**

"**Faith ?"**

There's a real surprise in Buffy's voice and it makes Satsu look at her more carefully. Through her blurred vision, she can see that the blonde is frowning even more than before and Satsu realizes her mistake.

She didn't know. Buffy had no idea about Faith's feelings. That means that all this time, she wasn't playing with the other slayer. She was acting on her own feelings. Buffy was already on the way to realize what she truly felt for Faith.

Satsu's sure that her heart is breaking. She can hear it howling in pain.

"**Satsu, you're drunk. We should go home."**

"**I'm not ! I am not drunk, Buffy. I'm just trying to understand what the hell is going on !"**

"**Well so am I ! Talk to me, Satsu ! And please, try to make sense this time !"**

They shout now, and the few people outside the club turn their attention to them. They don't really care. They don't even see who's around. It's only the two of them.

"**Tell me, Buffy. Tell me how you truly feel."**

To say that Buffy is taken aback by the question is an understatement.

"**I…"**

"**You what ? C'mon Buffy, shouldn't be so hard for you to talk about your feelings. **_**I**_** love you. I know I do. **_**You**_** know I do. What about you ?"**

"**I'm with you, Satsu…"**

"**That's not what I asked."**

She's being a cold bitch, she knows it but right now, she couldn't care less. Buffy deserves to hurt a bit too.

"**Satsu, I… I…"**

"**See ? You're not even able to lie to me. You can't even say that you love me so that I leave you the fuck alone ! But for her, Buffy… For her… You could. I'm sure you could scream to the whole world how much you love her…"**

"**I don't love Faith."**

"**No ? Then you're in denial. Way deeper than what I thought."**

"**I don't love her !"**

"**And you don't love me either, Buffy !"**

"**Is it about that ? Is it all because I haven't said it yet ?"**

Satsu almost wants to slap her. She turns her back on her and takes a deep breath.

"**Satsu, if you have a problem with Faith being here, I can ask her to leave."**

"**Would it make your feelings for her go away ?"**

Buffy grabs her shoulder and forces her to look her in the eye.

"**I don't have feelings for Faith !"**

"**Keep telling this to yourself."**

Satsu gets free from the slayer's hold on her and walks away. There's so much pain one can take at once, and she's already dealt with enough for the entire year. This time, Buffy doesn't try to stop her.

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><p><em><strong>Soooo, I'm really curious to know what you think. Want to share your thoughts with me ? Just leave a review ! :)<strong>_

_**Next chapter isn't fully written yet. It'll be posted before the end of next week, for sure.**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter, it means a lot. Thanks too, for all the story alerts/favorite story.**_

_**OTH-FOQ**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_I remember I promised you to update before the end of the week, so here it is ! This chapter's a bit longer than the previous two, and there's quite a lot going on. If you think things are going pretty fast, be careful to read aaaall the temporal indications._**

**_I hope you'll like it, as always ! And feedback is more than welcome._**

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><p>"<strong>She's gone. I went back to the club after you left yesterday and she wasn't there anymore. The bartender told me that she had already packed her things and that she was planning to leave today anyway."<strong>

Satsu doesn't answer. She doesn't even bother to look up. Her face is buried in her pillow and she only wishes her head could stop spinning and hurting.

"**Well, I guess I'll see you later."**

Buffy closes the door and Satsu hears her going downstairs. She finally raises her head and sits on the edge of her bed. Last night was bad. She might have screwed things up with Buffy. She might have pushed her even further in Faith's arms. Oh, wait. Faith isn't here anymore. And that changes everything.

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><p>"<strong>I'm sorry."<strong>

"**For what ?"**

"**For what happened yesterday at the club. For what I said to you. I had no right."**

Buffy sighs and glances at her girlfriend. Satsu knows she's pissed. She has every reason to be. Besides, Satsu doesn't even remember _exactly_ what happened and what her words were. She knows she made a scene, she's been jealous. But her memory is failing her a bit.

"**It's fine. The source of all our problems is gone anyway."**

"**It's my fault. I overreacted."**

"**That you did."**

"**It's just… There was something between you on the dance floor and it made me snap."**

"**Yeah, it's called a slayer connection, you know, the same that made us share a few dreams in the past ?"**

"**I'm not talking about a slayer connection, Buffy. I'm talking about the connection between two women."**

Satsu sees Buffy's hand tighten around her spoon.

"**I don't get it, Satsu. Faith's gone, so why don't you just drop it, huh ?"**

"**I needed to say it. But now I'm going back to normal. I'm just gonna pretend that she never came here, that I still haven't met her."**

"**Whatever makes you feel happy."**

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><p>And happy, Buffy's not.<p>

It's been three months since they last saw the brunette slayer. Their relationship has gotten back to normal, and they are now sharing an apartment. But Buffy's not the same. She's often in a bad mood, she refuses sometimes to go to the club, and she was _never_ one to miss an opportunity to dance. There's a part of her missing, and Satsu knows why. She knows that only one person could bring that part back to life. One person that could make Buffy complete. And that person is nowhere to be found.

Satsu watches helpless as Buffy becomes more and more quiet and shuts down everyone around her. Willow, Xander, Dawn and Giles don't recognize her anymore. They don't know why she's acting all strange. Kennedy knows better. Every time she looks at Satsu, it seems like she wants to rip her head off of her body. Satsu understands that she's not the only one who noticed the connection between Buffy and Faith. Her friendship with Kennedy has taken a toll. They don't talk about it, and when the others are around they just pretend that everything's fine.

But Buffy's darker and darker each day that passes. She comes back from patrol a bit later every night and with more bruises and cuts than before. Satsu even found a bottle of tequila under their bed. Almost empty. She didn't try to confront Buffy about it. It would have ended up in a fight.

Satsu does everything she can to cheer up her girlfriend, and sometimes it works and she sees the old Buffy, the one she fell in love with. Those moments are rare and precious, so she enjoys them and makes them last as long as possible. But suddenly something triggers a memory and Buffy falls back into her numbness routine.

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><p>One night, Satsu wakes up only to find the other side of the bed empty. Buffy's not back from her patrol. She glances at her alarm-clock and gets up quickly when she sees it's four in the morning. The slayer never comes home so late. Satsu grabs her phone and dials Willow's number in a hurry.<p>

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><p>"<strong>We found her unconscious in the cemetery. There were two bottles next to her, emptied. And a bunch of pills, the ones she couldn't swallow because she had had too much already."<strong>

Kennedy's eyes are fixed on Satsu while she talks. She's the one who found Buffy with the help of Willow. Now they're all sitting in the hospital, waiting for a doctor to tell them what's going on. Satsu wants to cry, she feels so much responsible. She should've known what was going on. She's the one who lives with Buffy, who shares her bed !

They feel each second of the following hour. They sit silently in the waiting room, and Kennedy is the only one who has enough courage to stand up and walk out.

"**I need some fresh air."**

She disappears for a while after, and not even Willow feels like checking in on her.

* * *

><p>"<strong>Your friend is stable. We've been able to perform a stomach wash, but she's going to be out for a while. I have to ask… Did she feel depressed lately ?"<strong>

Giles looks at everyone and speaks :

"**She's having quite a hard time, yes."**

"**Did she lose someone she loved or cared about ?"**

"**I guess you could say that."** Kennedy answers, much to everyone's surprise.

"**We have a very good psychologist here. I'll send him to her when she'll be awake and better."**

"**Thank you doctor."**

He leaves the room and they're silent again. Satsu realizes now the importance of Buffy in this group. She is the knot that links everybody. Without her, they fall apart, they're lost. She's the leader. They need her. But Buffy ?

Buffy needs the only person who's not here.

* * *

><p>Giles, Xander, Kennedy and Willow left. Satsu is alone with Dawn, and they're in Buffy's room. The slayer is still asleep and she's so pale that it breaks Satsu's heart. She's never seen her so weak.<p>

Satsu feels a small shiver down her spine and she turns round. In the door frame stands a tall, handsome man she's never seen before. But she knows who he is.

"**Angel."**

He walks in the room, and she wonders how he managed to come all the way to the hospital, because it's shinning outside.

"**Willow made me come here with her magic."**

Of course.

"**How is she ?"**

Dawn walks up to him and he welcomes her by a strong hug.

"**She's stable. She just needs to wake up."**

"**What happened ?"**

"**We… We don't know."**

"**You don't know ? What's that supposed to mean ? Aren't you her girlfriend ?"**

His tone is cold and harsh, but Satsu doesn't blink. They've got history together. He was Buffy's first love and first heartbreak. She knows about it. The vampire with a soul. The one that'll never stop loving her. At least they've got one common point.

"**Buffy was hiding her depression pretty well."**

"**You should've called me."**

"**You're not the person she needs."**

"**I **_**know**_**."**

And the look in his eyes can't be misunderstood. Angel knows about Buffy's feelings. God, he's probably the first one who noticed.

"**Dawn, why don't you go to the cafeteria and eat something while I talk with Angel ?"**

"**Do I have a choice ?"**

"**Dawn, please."** The vampire asks gently.

She looks up to Angel and nods. Satsu frowns, because she's always had a little trouble to get along with Dawn, but the young girl seems to really like Angel _and_ Faith.

As soon as the door closes, Satsu whispers :

"**You know."**

"**I've been around longer than you, Satsu. I've always known."**

"**I couldn't know she would try to kill herself… I thought she was getting better, that she just needed time…"**

"**It's not your fault. I'm sorry I've been hard on you, it's just… I don't like to see her like this. She's been through so much already."**

"**What am I supposed to do now ? I can't leave her. I love her."**

"**Like you said, she needs time. Time to find her way. "**

"**How did you… How could you live with that ?"**

"**When I came back from hell, Buffy had moved on already. Or at least she was trying to. And then **_**she**_** arrived in town, and everything was different. Buffy and I still shared this powerful love, but when things went… out of control, she changed. It made me realize that somehow I had already lost her, even though she wasn't aware of that."**

"**She was consumed by her hate for Faith."**

"**No, Satsu. She was consumed by her love for Faith."**

They remain silent for a while, then Angel speaks again :

"**She felt ashamed and awful for loving a murderer with no conscious. Her love turned into hate, because these two emotions are so close to each other that she couldn't make a difference between them anymore. But you should have seen the look on her face when she understood that Faith was turning herself in. We were at the police station, and she was… I don't know. Devastated and proud at the same time."**

"**Why did she never act on her feelings then ?"**

"**Without knowing if they were reciprocated ? She was probably thinking that Faith really hated her. I mean, Faith is not an easy kind of girl to understand. It's… complicated. I think they need a big, long talk together."**

"**Do you think… Do you think I should leave her then ?"**

"**That's not my decision to take, Satsu."**

"**I don't want to leave her, Angel. Not now, when she's all alone. Maybe… Maybe we should find **_**her**_**."**

Angel is about to answer but it's a female voice that cuts him off.

"**Find who ?"**

* * *

><p>Satsu freezes as she hears the two words. She doesn't need to turn round because she knows who said them. That low, husky voice, she could recognize it anywhere. From the corner of her eyes, she sees Angel greeting the newcomer with a warm smile.<p>

Faith takes one step inside the room and closes the door behind her. Satsu finally stands up and looks at her. She can see all the emotions going through the other slayer just by looking at her. And when the brunette lets her eyes wander on the hospital bed, Satsu immediately notice how they darken.

"**What happened ?"**

Angel puts one hand on Faith's shoulders in an attempt to calm her down because it's obvious that she's upset. Satsu opens her mouth to answer, but nothing comes out.

"**I asked you something, Satsu. What the hell happened to her ?"**

"**I… We don't really know, she went missing tonight and then Kennedy found her, and she was unconscious…"**

"**And why is that ?"**

"**Faith."** Angel says tentatively.

"**It's okay, Fangs, I'm not gonna snap or anything. I'd like to talk to Satsu alone, if you don't mind."**

Satsu takes a look at Angel, and she can tell that he minds, but he doesn't say anything and silently leaves the room. He has enough trust in Faith. Now Faith is firmly standing in front of her, so close that she can actually feel the heat radiating from her body.

"**You did this to her."**

"**Excuse me ?"**

"**You're responsible. You should've known something was wrong with her. Maybe the others will not say it out lout, but I am. I blame you, Satsu."**

It's more than she can take.

"**You blame me ? Really ? Then tell me what you think of that : Buffy started to change right after **_**you**_** left town ! She became a stranger to me, she wouldn't talk or express any feeling ! She was a fucking zombie, and you wanna know what I think, Faith ? I think this is **_**your**_** fucking responsibility !"**

Next thing she knows, she's pressed against the cold white wall and two hands are gripping her shoulders and neck so tightly that it hurts.

"**You wanna know why I left town ? Because she was with you, Satsu, and I didn't want to be the reason of your break-up ! I needed Buffy to realize what she truly felt, to think about what she truly wanted, and for that I couldn't be around ! Now you can blame me, but it'll never change the fact that I wouldn't have had to go away if you hadn't been so freaking insecure !"**

"**That's not… Not what the bar… Let go of me !"**

Faith releases her grasp just enough to let her breathe decently.

"**It's not what the bartender told Buffy. He said you were planning to leave."**

"**Yeah, I was. I wasn't exactly sure when, though. But your little crying scene at the club kind of made up my mind."**

"**You… You saw us ?"**

"**Heard ya before I saw ya, but yes. Hell, the whole club must've heard you."**

She finally steps back and allows Satsu to regain her composure.

"**Then why didn't you say anything ? Why didn't you try to talk to her ?"**

"**I told you. I couldn't interfere in your relationship."**

Satsu scoffs, because it's probably the most hypocritical thing she's ever heard.

"**You interfered in our relationship the second you set foot in town."**

"**It was my town long before it was yours."**

"**You hate it."**

"**Doesn't make it any less mine."**

They stare at each other for what seems like an eternity. Satsu can't understand how things have gone so far. One day she is living happily with Buffy, the next day Faith comes back to town and everything goes to hell. She knew what she was doing when she and Buffy started to date. She knew that Buffy might never love her back, not the way she'd like her to. But it didn't matter, because she loved her. Her love was enough for the both of them. But reality caught up with her. And her bubble of happiness exploded in a heartbeat.

Maybe one of them should say something, because things are getting rather awkward now, with all the standing and the staring. But before she has a chance to speak, a barely audible voice whispers :

"**Faith… Faith…"**

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><p><em><strong>Tadaaaa ! So, good or bad ? I know it can't be <strong>_**that**_** bad, but be honest in the reviews. Anonymous readers can review too ! Thanks for all the story alerts, etc. It means a lot ! :)**_

_**Next chapter in a week (or maybe before if you guys are nice ! lol)**_

_**OTH-FOQ**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A big THANK YOU for all the reviews, seriously. Every time I read your words, it makes me want to write more and more chapters, to make it a longer story than planned. Thanks for all the story alerts/favorites. Means a lot :)**_

_**Don't forget to check and review 'Oil and Water' !**_

_**This chapter's a lot shorter, I know. But I had to end it like this. Next chapter next week, and it might take a bit longer afterwards because I won't have time to write much this week. Exams time, guys !**_

_**Enjoy your reading :)**_

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><p>They both turn to the bed, where Buffy is now slowly moving her head from the left to the right. Her eyes are still closed, and Satsu assumes she's sleeping. It's probably a nightmare because the blonde is frowning intensely. She refocuses on Faith, whose eyes are still on Buffy. As soon as she feels the burning sensation of being watched, Faith's look meets Satsu's.<p>

Neither of them speaks. They're both surprised to hear Buffy talk, and even more to hear _what she's saying_. There is a moment of tension, and Satsu can still feel Buffy's agitation right behind her, but she doesn't want to let Faith see her. It's her girlfriend, she has to stay here, not Faith.

The door opens, and Angel quickly slips back into the room.

"**I thought I heard Buffy's voice ? Is she…"**

"**No, she's not. She's dreaming."**

"**Having a nightmare would be more like it." **Satsu corrects.

The three of them gather around the bed to watch the helpless slayer in her unconscious battle.

"**Please…"**

Satsu winces when she hears the hint of pain in Buffy's voice, but Faith and Angel remain stoic.

"**Stay… Faith…"**

Now their faces wear some expression. Angel frowns, and Faith is paler than before. Satsu doesn't know what to think, and even less what to do. She feels more than she sees Angel's hand on her shoulder.

"**Satsu, I think we should leave for a while."**

"**But…"**

"**Buffy will be fine with Faith."**

She doesn't doubt that.

* * *

><p>"<strong>How could you hear Buffy's voice, by the way ? It was so quiet… If I wasn't a slayer I would've missed it."<strong>

"**I can't explain it. I would recognize her voice anywhere, anytime. I mean… It's like she's here, in the back of my mind, and sometimes I can hear her."**

"**You all seem to have some kind of connection with her… Am I the only one who doesn't ?"**

"**You have a connection with her, too, Satsu. Don't underestimate yourself. Mine or Faith's may be stronger, but you do share something with Buffy too."**

Satsu stays quiet for a while. She wonders what's happening in the hospital room between her girlfriend and Faith. Angel is not the talkative kind of guy, and she appreciates that.

"**What if I can't let her go ? What if… What if I go nuts and do something stupid ?"**

He looks at her with sad, tired eyes.

"**You won't. I know for sure that she likes you a lot, and she cares about you. She'll never let you do something stupid. It's Buffy. She's got her heart on her hand."**

"**No, she hasn't. Not anymore. Her heart is in Faith's hand now."**

He chuckles at her answer.

"**Well, maybe, but you know what I mean."**

"**Yeah."**

Satsu is quite surprised to realize that she likes Angel. She knew about him long before she met him today, but all she could remember was that he had broken Buffy's heart and bit her. However, now that she had talked to him, she was glad to have him with her.

She stands up and walks up to the door of Buffy's room. But she doesn't touch the door handle. She just stares right in front of her as if her eyes could see right through it. She can't hear anything, which probably means that no one's talking. Satsu wishes she could just push the door and claim what's hers. Buffy is still her girlfriend, after all. Even if her heart belongs to someone else.

And the door opens suddenly, and she's facing Faith. God, she really is beautiful. Satsu has to give her that. Maybe she is a former psychotic killer, but she has perfect features and a perfect body. She can't blame Buffy for falling for this one girl. Satsu is far from being ugly, but Faith has the beauty of a goddess. She's…

"**Are you gonna stay here all day ?"**

Faith's voice makes her snap out of her thoughts. Silently she steps aside and the brunette walks past her towards Angel who still hasn't moved. Satsu slowly joins the side of Buffy's bed.

The blonde slayer is calmer now. She seems at peace, and Satsu wonders what Faith has done to her. Maybe nothing. Maybe her presence was enough; maybe Buffy could sense that she was in the room. And her heart aches. She feels the tears forming in her eyes but doesn't try to wipe them off. If she wants to cry, then she'll cry.

Satsu sits on the edge of the bed and takes Buffy's hands in hers. She knows she'll have to say goodbye soon. Goodbye to the very first love of her life. It's unfair. She wishes they had more time to build a solid and true relationship before Faith came into their lives. That way, she would've had a chance to win Buffy's heart. But it's too late now, she can't undo what's been done.

She feels stupid and miserable for not having seen earlier that Buffy couldn't fall in love with her because the special place in her heart was already taken by someone else. But how could she have known when Buffy herself had no idea ?

Silently, Satsu exits the room. She can't stand to be here any longer, not when she knows she's not the one Buffy will want to see when she wakes up. Angel is still sitting on the plastic chair in the corridor but Faith is nowhere in sight.

"**Where is she ? Is she gone again ?"**

"**She said she needed to take a nap."**

"**Oh."**

"**I'm going to call Giles to tell him Buffy seems to be a bit better."**

"**Okay. I'll just… sit here."**

Angel walks away and Satsu is alone, finally. Lately she's had a lot of time to think about her life and her relationship with Buffy. They can't keep going like this. They have to go separate ways, she knows it. Her head knows it. So why does her heart disagree with that ? Why can't she just walk away and close this chapter of her life ?

Because a part of her still hopes that Buffy will give her a chance. That what they've been trying to build during more than a year now hasn't been a complete waste of time. Satsu is not sure that she'll stick around if Buffy breaks up with her. Hell, she _know_s she won't stick around. She couldn't bear to see her girlfriend happy with someone else, let alone with _Faith_. But what if it doesn't work between the two Chosen ? What if they try, fight and break up ? What if Buffy wants Satsu back after that ? What if…

"_Okay, fuck off, 'What if'."_ Satsu shakes her head vigorously.

For now, Buffy is still in that hospital bed. Kennedy is mad at her. Giles, Xander, Dawn and Willow probably blame her unconsciously. And Faith is here, somewhere, sleeping.

Satsu scoffs. How can Faith be asleep while Buffy's almost in a coma ? What kind of friend would do that ? She doesn't seem a bit worried by Buffy's suicide attempt and Buffy wants to be with that girl ? She must be crazy, seriously.

Her trail of fuming thoughts keeps going on and Satsu stands up to pace back and forth in front of the door where her girlfriend is resting. She needs to calm herself, for Buffy's sake.

Quietly she goes back to her previous spot toward the bed and absent-mindedly places a lock of blonde hair behind Buffy's ear. She's so beautiful when she's asleep, Satsu thinks. And even after all the shit she's just been through, Buffy is smiling. She must be dreaming of happier times.

That's when it hits her. Buffy is smiling. She's asleep and she is smiling. But she wasn't a few minutes ago. All the links are forming in Satsu's head.

Buffy calling out for Faith, Faith leaving to take a nap, Buffy smiling, and their dreams shared in the past… It was Faith's idea. She hadn't let Buffy down at all. No, she was joining her in her dreams. She was reaching out to her in the most intimate and inaccessible place that exists in a human being : her subconscious.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Yeah, Faith is smart.<strong>_

_**Leave a few words about your opinion on this chapter ! :)**_

_**OTH-FOQ**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hellooooow ! So, this chapter's basically the beginning of the explanation of Buffy's desperate action. It is vague, maybe confusing, but hey, it's all a dream. Don't be pissed, you'll have a real and complete explanation later.**_

_**Don't be confused by the change of time. Satsu's POV is always in present time/tense. The rest, not so much.**_

_**Enjoy your reading, and make sure you make me happy ! (that's a code for "don't forget to review")**_

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><p>"<strong>You came."<strong>

"**Told ya I would, didn't I ?"**

"**Yeah, you did. But I wasn't sure you'd stick to your word."**

"**You've got to come back, Buffy. They're worried sick. Dawn was crying."**

"**But I feel good, here, why should I go back ?"**

Faith took a step towards Buffy and put her right hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"**Because there are people who love you and want you back, B. They need you."**

"**I can't…"**

"**Well, you can't keep dreaming for the rest of your life either. Things will get better soon, Buffy. I promise."**

Buffy sat down and Faith imitated her. The sand was damp, but it didn't matter, they couldn't feel it anyway. Small waves kept crashing at their feet as they stared at the ocean in silence.

"**Why did you do this ?"** Faith whispered.

She felt a hand being placed on hers, at her side.

"**What happened to us, Faith ? How did we get here ?"**

"**You tell me. I know exactly why I'm here, but you, Buffy… You don't. Or you don't wanna tell me."**

"**Do you remember what you said, that day in L.A, on the roof ? You said that I had to control everything to feel fine. Well maybe you were right."**

"**I **_**was**_** right."**

"**When I tried to let go, I did something stupid."**

"**With Spike ?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Oh, you know, he wasn't so bad-looking."**

Buffy playfully slapped her shoulder and her hand came back to its previous position.

"**I'm not saying that. But… It made me realize things I'm not sure I wanted to acknowledge."**

"**Like what ?"**

"**Like you."**

Faith took a deep breath before turning her gaze to Buffy. She could see the green eyes sparkling in the sunset. The brunette was sure she'd never seen something so beautiful. And when Buffy finally tore her look away from the ocean and met her hazel eyes, Faith shivered. There was something different. A spark, a different shade of green, she didn't know, but it was definitely different.

"**Me ?"**

"**I didn't know why, and I still don't **_**understand**_** why, but ****now ****I know."**

"**You're being cryptic."**

"**Don't you get it ? All this time I spent, trying to hate you, to hurt you, even to kill you… I was in denial, Faith."**

When Faith remained silent, Buffy continued to speak.

"**There was always this wall between us, no matter how hard we tried to take it down, to destroy it. I could never fully understand you and your lifestyle. I was looking for a way to see past this wall, and it took me years to succeed. I tried to bring it down with my anger, my hatred, my jealousy, all the murderous feelings, everything. And you know the only thing that worked ?"**

"**No, but you're gonna tell me."**

"**Love. **_**Love**_**, Faith. When I realized that hating you would not get me anywhere, I just… stopped. And it took me one night to finally see things clearly. I… went to Spike's that night and we…"**

"**Spare me the details; I think I have a pretty good idea of what you two did. Still, I don't see why you'd do something like that just because you fucked a vampire while you had feelings for me."**

"**I was thinking about you. All the time. I had my eyes closed and I imagined it was you. I'm a screw-up, Faith."**

"**Wow, wait, wait… You thought about me while fucking Spike ?"**

"**Yes."**

"**And… You tried to kill yourself over **_**that**_** ?"**

Buffy sighed and stood up. Faith blinked, and the next second, the older slayer was already far away on the beach. She got up and ran after her.

"**Buffy, wait !"**

"**You wouldn't understand, Faith. Of course not, I didn't try to… Not because of that."**

"**Then why ? Tell me."**

"**My life, Faith. I just want a break from all of it. I need to be alone, to find myself."**

"**You won't be able to do that here, Buffy. This place's not real."**

"**They'll never let me go if I choose to wake up."**

They stopped walking, their faces merely inches from each other.

"**Just tell them how you feel, what you need. They'll understand. I'll back you up. I'll do anything for you to get better, Buffy. I'll stay in town to help you."**

"**Satsu is a nice girl."**

"**I know, and she loves you."**

"**Then why am I not able to love her back ?"**

"**You can't choose who you love, Buffy."**

"**Will you stay if I ask you to ?"**

"**I'm not going anywhere at least until you're out of this depression. I am your friend, okay ?"**

"**I don't want your friendship. I want to hate you."**

"**Then hate me, but I'm sticking with you. Buffy, come on, wake up."**

"**Will you be here if I wake up ?"**

"**Yes."**

The blonde slayer smiled and gently rubbed Faith's left cheek with the back of her hand. The brunette closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again.

"**I'll never understand why this has been so hard."**

"**What do you mean ?"**

"**I've been weak, Faith. I shouldn't have done what I did. It's just… Every person that I love ends up leaving me, or dies, and I can't stand that anymore. Angel, Scott, Parker, Riley…"**

"**Me ?"**

Buffy didn't answer but she looked away and Faith closed her eyes for a moment, trying not to lose control of her emotions.

"**I didn't know, B. You're in a nice and stable relationship with Satsu, and I thought you were happy with her. I didn't think I'd stand a chance against her. I mean, yeah, I've kind of always known you had a thing for me, who hasn't ? But… I'm fucked-up. I did a lot of shitty things in my life, why would you want me when you already have so much better ?"**

"**You can't choose who you love. And I don't know why, or how, but you managed to get under my skin, to make me feel vulnerable and strong, scared and bold, shy and audacious, ugly and beautiful, sad and happy, and I can go on and on with the adjectives."**

Faith's heart was racing now. No one had ever told her things so sweet and heart-shattering.

"**So when I left, you thought I had abandoned you ? That I wouldn't come back ?"**

"**I was with Satsu, and I thought that you'd believe I didn't pay attention to you, that I didn't care…"**

"**Buffy, even if you were married to the girl, I'd come back, because it's you ! Screw Satsu, I told her I wouldn't interfere, but I can't keep my damn mouth shut when I hear things like that. I **_**want**_** you, Buffy. And you need to wake up because if you don't, then I'll go back to killing people, okay ?"**

"**Don't you dare."**

"**Watch me."**

Faith's forehand was now pressed against Buffy's and their lips were centimeters apart.

"**Is it wrong that I really want to kiss you ?"** The blonde asked.

"**Is it wrong if I say no ?"**

Buffy's smile was quickly covered by a warm pair of lips and she instantly threw her arms around Faith's neck. She had never felt more alive. In the back of her mind, she was vaguely aware that this was a dream, that in the real world she had a girlfriend waiting for her to wake up, but she couldn't shake herself out of it. The kiss ended way too quickly for her. Faith stepped back a little.

"**You can have me, Buffy. We could have all that. You just have to wake up. I'll wait for you. Take the time that you need. But I won't be back here. I'm waiting for you in the real world. Things will be tough and you'll have a lot to deal with. Starting with Satsu. The girl needs to know, okay ? She deserves to be treated right. You can't do that behind her back. I hate people like this. Remember, I'll be by your side."**

"**You're leaving me ?"**

"**I'm waking up."**

Her voice sounded distant to her own ears, and soon Buffy was only a blurred silhouette.

"**Hey Faith, do you realize that this is the most normal dream we've ever shared ?"**

"**Normal ? We kissed, Buffy. I don't think it makes this dream normal. Wake up soon."**

And Faith opened her eyes.

* * *

><p>Satsu doesn't remember when she fell asleep, and she couldn't tell whether it's been a minute or an hour. But when she opens her eyes, Faith is here. She's watching her, but she's holding Buffy's hand. Satsu stretches herself and gets up. She's been sleeping in the chair next to Buffy's bed and it was horribly uncomfortable. Then she turns to Faith and asks :<p>

"**So, how is she ?"**

"**She seems fine, her cheeks have redden a little."**

"**And how is she **_**really**_** ?"**

Faith looks at her and frowns.

"**I know about the dreams."**

"**Oh."**

"**Yeah. So ?"**

"**Well… She needs a break from everything. Like a big vacation, you know ? She's tired. I don't think she's told me everything yet, but I'll make her spill her guts as soon as she wakes up."**

"**Did she mention me ?"**

"**Not really. She talked about her, mostly."**

Satsu can sense that Faith is not being completely honest, but she doesn't push further. She will have answers soon, because she's sure that Buffy's going to wake up now. She trusts Faith on this.

"**You know I'd do anything for Buffy, right ?"**

Faith's eyes widen a little. She obviously wasn't expecting the question.

"**Hmm, if you say so."**

"**I'm sure you'd do the same."**

"**Look, Satsu, I don't know what you're getting at, but let it go, okay ? Yes, I'd die for B, satisfied ?"**

Satsu nods and smiles brightly. She's changed her mind. Faith is obviously in love with Buffy, and it comforts her somehow. At least she won't be dumped for some stupid ass. She's leaving Buffy into good care.

"**I think I'll go home. I need a shower and a good sleep. I'll take Dawn with me. Is Angel still here ?"**

"**He left a few minutes before you woke up."**

"**Oh, okay. Well I'll see you around, I guess."**

She takes one last glance at Buffy, kisses her forehead lightly, and leaves the room silently. It's weird, she thinks, to feel like everything will be alright even if she ends up heartbroken. It's weird but not unpleasant.

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><p><em><strong>I hope I didn't disappoint. If I did, feel free to yell at me. If I didn't, well, feel free to tell me how much you love me. (Haha, okay, joke.)<strong>_

_**Next chapter's not fully written yet, but it'll be posted next week as usual. Stay tuned.**_

_**OTH-FOQ**_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Sorry for not updating on Saturday as usual. Been busy with all the Christmas stuff, and inspiration went on winter holidays and I have no idea when it'll be back. So this chapter might be the last one for a while. The story's taking an interesting turn and Satsu might be out of the picture very soon._**

**_Last chapter got only 2 reviews (which is way better than 0), but I can't help thinking that maybe it was because you guys didn't like it. It doesn't really help with the writer's block, but I'll manage._**

**_Thanks for all the story alerts/favorites. It kinda amazes me to see that there are so many BTVS fans out there, still faithful to the show after all these years !_**

**_Anyway, hopefully you'll like this chapter and tell me what you think of it !_**

**_Hope you had a merry Christmas for those who celebrated it, and I wish you all the best for the upcoming year ! :)_**

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><p>"<strong>Satsu ?"<strong>

A raspy voice calls her. Her head turns to the right, and she's on her feet within a second.

"**I'm here. I'm here, Buffy ! Oh God…"**

Satsu takes Buffy's hand in hers and squeezes it lightly.

"**I'm gonna call a doctor, okay ? I'll be right back !"**

She smiles at her girlfriend and quickly exits the room to find a nurse and a doctor. When she comes back a minute later, Buffy is staring at the ceiling, silently waiting. The doctor asks her to stay out of the room while he checks on Buffy, and Satsu gladly complies.

* * *

><p>"<strong>Satsu ?"<strong>

"**Oh, hey Dawn ! Your sister just woke up !"**

"**What ? Oh my God, can I see her ?"**

"**The doctor's with her, but it'll be good in a minute."**

For the first time, Dawn smiles at her. It's a genuine smile, and it warms her heart a little. Everything will be okay, she thinks. She has to believe it.

* * *

><p>Surprisingly enough, once the doctor is gone, Buffy asks for her and not for Faith. Speaking of Faith, Satsu has no idea where she is. It's been two days since she last saw her, but it seems to be a habit for the brunette to disappear once in a while. Now that Buffy's awake, she won't be away for long.<p>

Satsu takes a deep breath before entering Buffy's room. The blonde has closed her eyes, but she knows that she's not sleeping. Quietly, she sits on the edge of the bed and takes her hand in hers.

"**Hey."**

"**Hey yourself. How do you feel ?"**

"**Like I've been hit by a truck or something."**

"**Well you've been out for a while."**

"**How long ?"**

"**Four days."**

Buffy winces slightly and turns her head on the right, and Satsu is expecting her tears.

"**Don't cry, Buffy. Nobody's mad at you. We're just… surprised and worried."**

"**I'm sorry."**

"**I know."**

There's nothing more to say. Satsu squeezes her hand and kisses it lightly.

"**You should rest; I'm going to send Dawn to you"**

"**She's here ?"**

"**Where else would she be ?"**

They share a small smile and Satsu reaches the door and is about to leave when Buffy's voice stops her.

"**Satsu ?"**

"**Yeah ?"**

"**Thank you. For everything."**

The air is charged with unspoken words. She knows it. They have a lot to talk about, but now is not the right moment. And this time, it's with a sad smile that Satsu answers :

"**Anything for you."**

* * *

><p>When Buffy is allowed to leave the hospital at the end of the day, Faith still hasn't showed up. Satsu wonders why. And so does Buffy, it's obvious. She's putting on a brave face, but Satsu knows better. She's afraid that Faith took off again.<p>

"**She'll come, you know."**

"**What ?"**

"**Faith. She came to the hospital, and she's somewhere in town. I think she wants you to recover, to feel better before you see her."**

Buffy doesn't answer, but it's not like Satsu was expecting her to. She opens the door of their apartment and lets Buffy walk in first. She almost bumps into her as the blonde suddenly stops, frozen in her tracks.

"**Sa… Satsu ? Did you change anything here ? It looks different."**

"**Oh, hum, yes… I, uh, I gathered my things in the kitchen."**

"**But… Why ?"**

Buffy turns to face her, an incredulous look on her beautiful features. Satsu shifts uncomfortably on her feet. She wasn't expecting the big talk so soon, but obviously she owes Buffy an explanation.

"**I'm… I'm leaving."**

"**You what ?"**

"**I think it's better for you if I'm not around all the time."**

"**Okay, you're gonna have to give me a bigger explanation, because I don't understand."**

Satsu sighs and takes Buffy's hand in her. She leads them to the couch and they both sit down.

"**I love you, Buffy. And a part of me will probably always do. But our relationship is over, and you know it. It was over the moment Faith came back here. And it makes us very selfish and stupid persons to keep pretending. Because you're not happy with me, and I'm not happy with you anymore."**

"**But…"**

"**Listen to me. I can't stand the disappointment I see in your eyes every time you look at me and realize I'm not **_**her**_**. I can't stand the way you close your eyes and kisses me when I know that you only think about **_**her**_**. We can't be together, Buffy, because the love in our relationship is one-sided. We both deserve more. And I may be heartbroken, but I know this is the right thing to do, and you know it too."**

Buffy just stares at the ground silently.

"**I'll always be here for you, Buffy. I'll always be only a phone-call away."**

"**Where are you going ?"**

"**To Dawn and Xander's for a week. Then I'm leaving."**

"**You're not staying in town ?"**

Again, Satsu feels bad because she knows she's about to drop a bomb on Buffy. She takes a deep breath and whispers :

"**No. I asked Giles if he needed a slayer somewhere in the world, and he said Japan."**

"**He said **_**what**_** ?"**

"**Japan."**

"**I heard you, I'm not deaf ! But why do you have to leave ? And why so far away ?"**

"**It's not that far, Buffy. It's not France or Italy."**

The blonde slayer stands up and turns her back to her. Things are getting a little frustrating. Why does she have to behave like this when it's breaking Satsu's heart, not hers ?

"**Buffy, look… It's not like I don't want to see you again, and I don't leave you alone. I just need time, and space."**

"**You're giving up without even fighting. If you loved me as much as you claim to do, then you'd fight."**

"**Why would I fight ? Tell me why, when we already know that I'm no match for Faith ? That she beats me hands down, without even trying ? I'm not a masochist, Buffy. I can't stay around. I do love you, but I don't want to feel this emptiness in my heart that I feel right now. Don't be selfish. You have to let me go."**

"**I'm sorry."**

Buffy looks at her now, and there's pain in her eyes.

"**I understand. It hurts, a lot, but I understand that love is something you have no control over."**

"**God, Satsu, I'm so sorry…"**

She bursts into tears and Satsu reacts immediately by wrapping her arms around her.

"**Don't cry, Buffy. I'm not mad. I'm losing the best thing that ever happened to me, but I'm still young. Life isn't over. We'll be friends, I'm sure. Don't feel guilty."**

"**You deserve so much better, Satsu. Why are you being so nice ?"**

"**Because I can't stand to see you in such a state."**

She strokes her hair gently and pulls back a little to look her in the eye.

"**I'm gonna miss you like crazy."**

"**Don't go. I know I'm being a selfish bitch, but I need you here, Satsu. You have no idea of how much I need you."**

Satsu doesn't answer. What is she supposed to say ? It kills her to hear these words coming from Buffy because she knows that the blonde doesn't need her the way she'd like her to.

"**You are such an amazing person, I can't lose you. Not you too."**

"**Buffy…"**

"**I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry I can't love you back, but don't leave…"**

It's time to be strong, Satsu reminds herself. So she lets go of Buffy and steps back, and with a voice that shows more determination than what she feels, she says :

"**I have to. I'll come back, Buffy. Whenever you need a hand with all the slayer stuff, or if things go to hell here, you'll just have to call. But it's time for me to put an end to this charade. I'm no longer at your feet. I love you, but you can't ask me to stay if you don't love me back, **_**and you don't**_**. We'll probably see each other during the week, but don't try to call me now. It wouldn't change anything."**

She turns around and walks up to the door.

"**Satsu."**

The Japanese stops but doesn't look back.

"**I'm sorry it has to end like this. I wish things would've been different."**

"**No you don't."**

And the door closes behind her.

* * *

><p>"<strong>So, are you gonna tell me how you knew for Buffy's hospitalization before I even called you ?"<strong>

Faith looked at Kennedy and shook her head slightly.

"**Don't you guess ?"**

"**Nope."**

"**I was asleep, when it happened. Was dreaming of dear ol' Boston and then poof, there's Buffy. She hadn't appeared in my dreams for a while, so I was surprised. And I freaked out. Then I asked her what she was doing here, and she didn't answer. She just…"**

"**What ?"**

"**She started to cry."**

"**Just like that ?"**

"**Just like that."**

Kennedy let out a small whistle and Faith raised an eyebrow.

"**What's so funny ?"**

"**Well, you two were like the biggest enemies ever, and then she just cries in front of you."**

"**T'wasn't the first time."**

Now it was Kennedy's turn to be curious.

"**Wasn't it ?"**

"**I've seen her cry back in SunnyD, when you guys went up against her and tried to fire her or something."**

"**Wow. I didn't know she'd taken this so badly."**

"**Well, I would've done the same. I mean, not crying, but I would've been mad enough to kick all of your asses."**

"**Lucky us you were not the psycho slayer anymore."**

Faith gently slapped her on the head and said :

"**Well, I should probably go and see her. I think she's home now. Dawn called me."**

"**Maybe I'll stop by tomorrow with Willow."**

"**Sure, that'd be cool."**

"**See you, then."**

"**Yeah, see you."**

They went separate ways.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next chapter, next week, but I can't promise you anything. It should be online on Saturday, 7th. I miss reading your reviews, guys, so think about leaving a few words here as my Christmas gift ! ) <strong>_

_**OTH-FOQ**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**I was supposed to upload this chapter yesterday but I couldn't. **_

_**If you need more info about Buffy's explanation in this chapter, check "I'll be reminded", in the story 'Oil & Water'. The two chapters are related.**_

_**Honestly, my inspiration for this story is totally fading. I have to find the motivation to write, and I don't like the result. Next chapter isn't written at all. I'm trying to start now. I have a few ideas for a new story though.**_

_**Anyway, I know that you probably read this everywhere, but I think it's true : reviews keep me motivated and put me in a good mood. Good mood = good writing. Imagine if every person that read the chapter left a review behind... That'd be amazing. So I think you know what to do. :)**_

_**Thanks for the story alerts/favorites and the reviews. I might repeat myself, but it really matters to me. I write because I enjoy it, so if people enjoy reading any of my stories, it's their duty to tell me ;)**_

* * *

><p>Things were rather awkward at first. They had never been good at sharing their emotions, let alone with each other. It was always easier in the dreams, because no matter how real it felt, it was <em>not<em>. So they allowed themselves to be bolder, more honest.

Now, in the living-room of Buffy and Satsu's apartment –well, Buffy's apartment now- Faith didn't really know where to start. They were standing in front of each other and obviously things were not going to be easy.

"**So… How do you feel ?"**

"**You weren't here when I woke up. I was expecting to see you."**

"**Yeah… About that… I didn't want to invade your space, you know ? Hum… I thought you might need time. And some time alone with Satsu, you know, to figure out what you really wanted…"**

"**Satsu left me."**

That was one thing that Faith didn't expect.

"**She did what ? I… I mean, why ? She… Well she loves you !"**

"**She said we shouldn't be selfish and that ending things now was better for both of us."**

"**But… Don't hit me, but you're not at your best, so why now ? I thought she'd like to play the nurse or…"**

"**Satsu's a good girl. She's mature and responsible, and humble."**

"**Okay… So, I'm not gonna lie, her being gone makes it easier for me to be around you. But still, I didn't think she'd leave so soon and so…"**

"**Easily ?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Well me neither." **

An uncomfortable silence fell upon them, and Faith looked away. There were so many things she wished she could say, and yet nothing came to her mind.

"**I don't know what's happening, Faith. I feel lost. I mean, one day everything's fine, and the next I'm in the hospital and my girlfriend dumps me."**

"**I think you have to look further back to understand how you got here, Buffy."**

"**But us, Faith ? Really ? I know what I said in the dream, I remember. But it feels completely surreal."**

"**That's why I chose not to be here when you woke up. You need to be alone for a while, B. Just know that I'm waiting, I'm not going anywhere."**

"**You left before. What's different now ?"**

"**Well, first, I was just next town. Second… We are different now. But you need time to realize that."**

"**What about… your feelings ? How long have you been…"**

"**My watcher Diana used to tell me about you. How you had died and how you came back to life thanks to Xander. I was in awe. You were a hero, a legend for me even before I met you. I guess I was already a bit in love with you before coming to Sunnydale."**

Buffy smiled sadly. If only she had known.

"**You didn't say anything about it. Never."**

"**Well… I knew you were straight. And you were totally in love with Angel, which probably ended any hope I could've had about us being… you know."**

"**Yeah."**

"**Look, Buffy, I don't want to put any pressure on you, okay ? I'm staying at Kennedy's for the moment, so if you need to call me and that I don't answer my cellphone, try there. We need to talk, but I want you to be ready for that. That's why you should rest and clear your head."**

"**I will."**

Faith nodded and looked around her.

"**So… Satsu really left ?"**

"**Well she took her stuff and yeah, she's gone. I mean, she'll be in town until next week and then…"**

"**Then what ?"**

"**Giles sends her to Japan."**

The brunette raised an eyebrow in surprise and Buffy sighed.

"**She asked him if a Slayer was needed somewhere else and he decided to send her back to her native country."**

"**I'm sorry."**

"**Why ? It's not like you two were friends anyway."**

"**No, but she's important to you."**

"**She doesn't seem to think so."**

"**Maybe you should talk to her too. Before she leaves."**

"**I will. But right now she needs to be alone and I'm the last person she wants to see."**

"**No, that would be me."**

Buffy smiled at her and took a step closer.

"**About the dream…"**

"**Don't, Buffy. Not now. It's too soon."**

"**But we need to talk about it !"**

"**I know, but honestly ? You said some things that are still… I'm still trying to process the information."**

"**About… my feelings ?"**

"**Well, yeah, mostly. But I want you to open up to me, to be completely honest. I need you to tell me exactly what pushed you over the edge."**

"… **I don't understand."**

"**You tried to **_**kill**_** yourself. There has to be numerous reasons behind this attempt. I want to know all of them. And you have to think about it, seriously. I can't be with you if I fear that every time I'll have to leave town you're gonna freak out and do something stupid."**

Buffy didn't answer and her eyes travelled all around the room. She couldn't look at Faith right now, because her words were ringing too much true.

"**You're tired. You should rest."**

"**I've been resting for four days, I'm fine."**

"**Okay, then. Buffy… Why don't you tell me just a bit more about…"**

"**What I feel for you ?"**

"**I'd like to know. If that's not too much pressure, of course."**

"**It's… complicated. I know I told you it took me one night to realize I loved you, but there was a process before all that."**

"**We've got plenty of times for the details later. Long story short ?"**

"**Long story short, I died, was pulled out of Heaven by my friends, felt numb and depressed, screwed Spike, and then… I wasn't really thinking about you, you know ? But this night… The Trio of losers was messing up with me and they made me believe I had killed a girl. I was fighting some demons and I hit her, and then she was dead. A death by accident. It immediately reminded me of…"**

"**Allan."**

"**Yeah… Then I started thinking about you, and how you were holding on in L.A. and what you must've felt when you realized you'd killed a human being… Then, well, I learned the truth about the girl's death. But you never left my thoughts after that. I couldn't get you out of my head. I wanted to see you, to talk to you."**

"**I'm glad you didn't come to see me when I was in jail. It would've been too hard for me. Buffy, I'm sorry. For everything that I put you through. I mean it."**

The blonde Slayer smiled and she took Faith's hands in hers.

"**I'm sorry too. I've been a crappy friend."**

Her words earned a laugh from Faith.

"**Yeah, maybe, but you didn't turn evil."**

"**Enough talking about the past."**

"**I should leave now."**

"**Yeah…"**

But neither of them was willing to let the other go, so they just remained still, looking into each other's eyes for a few more seconds.

"**I should really go. Ken told me that she'll come to see you tomorrow with Willow."**

"**Will you come too ?"**

"**I… I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea for me to be around you so often. It makes me… You know."**

"**Wanna do things ?"**Buffy said with a playful grin.

"**Exactly."**

"**Okay then. But call me."**

"**I will. Take care of yourself."**

"**Don't worry."**

Faith finally dropped Buffy's hands and she placed a soft kiss on her right cheek. Then she started to step back but she felt a hand on her neck, pulling her closer to the blonde, whose lips immediately met hers in a hungry kiss. It took Faith a lot of her willpower to break out of it and she sighed, her eyes closed.

"**What was that for ?"**

"**I needed to know. What it feels like."**

"**What it feels like ?"**

She closed the gap between Buffy and her, and whispered huskily in her ear :

"**You haven't seen anything yet."**

Next thing Buffy knew, she was alone in the apartment.

* * *

><p>Satsu sits down on the bed of her guest room in Xander's house. It's a nice, cozy house, the kind that she has always wanted for herself. Maybe one day she'll be able to buy one like this, in a beautiful place. Near the ocean would be perfect. She's leaving in a week for Japan. There's a mix of emotions invading her : sadness, nostalgia, fear, and… well, happiness. Because after all, Japan is home to her. She's got family there, she won't be alone. But this thought is not totally comforting. She's not going <em>back home<em>, she'll have to lead a team, to fight to survive. It's not gonna be easy. But Satsu believes she's been trained for it.

As she closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep, Satsu tries to remember happier days. She gives up when she realizes that most of them include Buffy. Buffy's not hers anymore. She's never been hers.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I hope you liked it, really. Let me know.<strong>_

_**Even if it takes time for me to update from now on, I want you to know that I am NOT giving up this story. It'll have a proper ending.**_

_**OTH-FOQ**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hi :)**_

_**So I told you that the chapters would come on an irregular basis from now on, but the story will keep going until its end. Which probably will be in a few chapters. It might not be as good as before, so I apologize in advance. I really hope you'll like it anyway.**_

_**Give me some reviews so that I know what I need to work on !**_

_**And check my new B/F one-shot "Fool Me Once". It hasn't been reviewed yet, and it'd be a great pleasure for me if you left a few words about it ! Thanks, and enjoy your reading :)**_

* * *

><p>Satsu spends the next two days wandering in town, trying to engrave in her memory every detail of what makes the city what it is. She wants to be able to remember what she lived here. She met wonderful people, she fell in love, and she experienced many things. She'll miss it.<p>

But this is her opportunity to be on her own, to discover who she truly is. Satsu knows that she needs this. That's why she asked Giles to leave the country. Well, among other reasons, obviously. She hasn't seen or heard of Buffy since she brought her back at their apartment after she was released from the hospital. The Japanese slayer really hopes that her ex-girlfriend will get better soon. She can't help wondering what would've happened if Kennedy hadn't found her in time. And even if the rational part of her mind knows that she isn't responsible for what happened, the irrational part won't leave her in peace. She should've confronted Buffy about her negative behavior. But she was too afraid to lose her if things turned out badly. Her decision blew up in her face, and in the end she had lost Buffy all the same.

As she turns around the corner of the main street, Satsu bumps into a woman and almost falls down from the impact. Hitting a wall wouldn't have been so different. When she looks up to apologize, she realizes that the woman is none other than Faith. The brunette watches her silently, waiting for Satsu to say something.

"**Uh… Sorry."**

"**S'okay. Didn't hurt me." **Faith replies in a neutral tone.

"**What… What are you doing in town ?" **Satsu asks hesitantly.

"**Walking. Trying to clear my head. You ?"**

"**Well, I have time to kill before leaving, so I decided to take a walk, to see things one last time."**

"**Making memories ?"**

"**Sort of. How… How's Buffy ?"**

"**She's doing better. She has an appointment with a shrink this afternoon."**

"**Oh. Well, that's good. I mean, if it helps."**

"**I'm sure it does."**

"**But… Is she gonna tell him about, you know, vampires and demons ?"**

"**He's from Wolfram & Hart. He already knows all about it, trust me."**

"**Oh. Okay… Do you stay with her now ?"**

"**No. I just… call her twice a day, to check on her."**

Satsu frowns slightly, surprised to hear that. Faith doesn't bother to explain, as she continues :

"**Are you going to talk to her soon ? I know she needs to talk to you."**

"**Uh, I don't know, later maybe. I've got four days left here, so I guess we still have time."**

"**You should really have a talk, you guys need a proper closure."**

"**I know."**

"**You know, Satsu, under different circumstances, I think you and I could've been good friends."**

"**Really ?"**

"**Well, you're smart, definitely not bad to look at, and you truly care about Buffy. No matter how much it kills you, you're still willing to do anything for her. You're loyal. That's a quality I appreciate."**

"**Thanks."**

They stare at each other for a moment, and Satsu realizes that as much as she'd like to be able to hate Faith for stealing her girlfriend away from her, she just can't. There's something about the dark slayer that makes it impossible to resist her. Somehow, the redemption thing suits her perfectly. It makes her look like a fallen angel. Maybe that's what she is. Satsu chuckles and shakes her head as soon as the thought crosses her mind.

"**What ? What's so funny ?"**

"**Nothing. I was just… I gotta go. Take care of Buffy, okay ?"**

"**I will. Do you… Do you think you'll keep in touch with her ?"**

"**It depends."**

"**On ?"**

"**Whether she wants it or not."**

Her remark earns a grin from Faith.

"**She doesn't wanna lose you."**

"**Yeah. Don't tell her you ran into me today, okay ?"**

"**If that's what you want."**

"**Thanks. See you around, maybe."**

Satsu walks past Faith but she feels a hand on her arm and turns round.

"**Satsu… Look, you might not believe me but… I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot, you and me."**

"**I believe you. You've been a real bitch, but turned out to be right. I can't exactly blame you for being foreshadowing."**

The brunette laughs and it sends a shiver down the young slayer's spine. No wonder Buffy fell for this girl. Everything about her makes you want to jump her right here, right now. Satsu blushes furiously at the thought. She shouldn't be thinking like _this_. Sensing the Japanese's sudden uneasiness, and quickly understanding why, Faith adds with a smirk :

"**What do you know ? If things don't work out between Buffy and I, maybe we should give it a shot, you and me."**

Then she winks at her and walks away, leaving a dumbfounded Satsu behind her.

* * *

><p>The night comes down quickly and Satsu smiles, realizing that she's been outside all day. She's tired and her feet hurt, but she doesn't regret all the walking. She feels a lot better. It's easy to pretend, in front of the others, that everything's fine. That it doesn't hurt so much to lose Buffy. But it's all a lie. Since their break-up, she feels empty, like her life's lost all meaning. It sounds corny, she knows it, but there's no other word to describe the feeling.<p>

She can't tell anyone. Even if she's sure some of them would understand, like Xander or Willow, she can't bring herself to say anything about it. She has to get over it. She's seen enough movies to know that it takes time to heal from heartbreak, especially the first one.

The house is empty when she comes back, and she quietly pours herself a glass of wine before staring out the window of the living-room. From here she can see the lights of the dock reflecting on the water. Xander and Dawn really have found the most perfect house in town. They are happy together, and they give Satsu hope. She learnt about Anya's death in the battle of Sunnydale. She knows that Xander had almost married her a few years ago before retracting himself. But somehow he had managed to get over all this and he was now happily in love with Buffy's little sister.

As she puts the glass in the sink and retreats toward the bathroom for a quick shower, Satsu wonders why she didn't realize before that her relationship with Buffy was never meant to last. All the signs were here but she had never paid attention to them. Was she the only one thinking it could work ? There are a lot of questions going on in her head now, and she needs some answers.

Tomorrow, she thinks, she'll go to see Willow. The redhead is Buffy's best friend since… well, since what seems like forever, so surely she does have some valuable answers.

* * *

><p><em><strong>It's short, I know, but I'm still lacking inspiration... I think it'll get better soon though, what with school starting again and all.<strong>_

_**Don't forget the feedback, and check "Oil & Water" ! :)**_

_**OTH-FOQ**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**We are getting closer to the end... Next chapter will come ASAP, I promise. To make up for the gap between updates, I'll try to write longer chapters ! In exchange, how about some reviews ? They really keep me going.**_

_**Really, thanks to all those who take time to leave a few words after reading. Thanks for all the story alerts/favorites. It does mean a lot to me.**_

_**Once again, don't be confused by the shift of time. Satsu's POV is always in present tense/time.**_

* * *

><p>"<strong>Satsu."<strong>

"**Hey Ken. Is, hum, Willow here ?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Can I come in ?"**

Kennedy sighs and reluctantly steps aside to let Satsu in. Apparently, she still hasn't forgiven the Japanese and still holds her responsible for Faith's departure and Buffy's suicide attempt. But Satsu shrugs it off, she knows Kennedy will come around soon. She can't stay mad forever.

"**So, how's Buffy ?"**

"**I don't know, I haven't talked to her since our break-up."**

"**Your… what ?"**

Satsu turns round to look at the other slayer and frowns.

"**Our break-up. We're… not together anymore."**

"**Wow, slow down. You and Buffy are no longer dating ?"**

"**Well yes. It's been three days already."**

It only takes a few seconds to Kennedy to realize that Satsu dumped Buffy the day she left the hospital. She takes a step forward and gives her the best dark glare she can.

"**You left her right after she's out of the hospital ? Are you crazy or what ? And how come I didn't know about that ?"**

"**Well, we're not exactly talking to each other anymore, but I'm surprised Faith didn't say anything."**

"**Faith ? Faith knew ?"**

"**Well yeah."**

"**What the hell ? Willow and I came to visit Buffy two days ago and she didn't say a word about it ! Except that you were staying at Xander's, but I thought that's because she needed some time to…"**

When she trails off and doesn't finish her sentence, Satsu raises and eyebrow and asks :

"**Some time to what ? To realize that yeah, our relationship had to end because she didn't love me, because she needed Faith ? Well I realized all that way before her, that's why I left her that day. I couldn't stand to be the only thing in her way. And yes, it broke my heart, thanks for asking !"**

It seems like her words were just right. Kennedy lowers her head and mutters an apology.

"**Sorry. I… I guess I'm just surprised. Hum, Willow's in the bedroom. I'm… I'm just gonna head out, find something to do and let you talk to her."**

"**Thanks."**

"**Satsu, really…"**

"**It's okay. I kinda lost it here, I shouldn't have yelled at you."**

"**I deserved it. Sometimes I forget my manners and go back to being a brat. I'm sorry. Also I wanted to say… I neglected to see your side of the story. I know it wasn't all peachy for you during the past few months. But… It's just that as much as I like you, my loyalty goes to Faith first."**

"**Hey. Don't overthink this. We're good, Ken. I know Faith is important to you. It's only fair to want her to be happy. And since I was standing in the way of her happiness… But it doesn't matter, right ? 'Cause in the end, everybody's happy."**

"**Are you ?"**

Satsu's eyes refuse to meet Kennedy's, and she forces herself to smile. Trying to hide the sadness in her voice, but probably failing anyway, she says softly :

"**I will."**

* * *

><p>Buffy was pacing back and forth in front of her couch in the living-room. She was waiting for Dawn to pick her up since they had agreed to go shopping. But her sister was late, and she hadn't even bothered to call her. For the third time, Buffy dialed her number and was immediately sent on her voicemail.<p>

"_**Hey, this is Dawn, I'm not available right now, but leave a message and I'll call you back !"**_

The blonde slayer sighed and said flatly :

"**If you're not here in fifteen minutes, don't bother to come."**

Just when she hung up the phone, the doorbell rang. She almost ran to the door, expecting to see her sister behind it. She opened it violently and began to shout :

"**You **_**so**_** owe me ice-cr… Faith ?"**

"**Hum, yeah. Hi."**

"**Hi. I'm… I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else !"**

"**I know. Can I come in ?"**

"**Oh, sure !"**

Buffy stepped aside to let the brunette in and closed the door quietly behind her. Then she frowned, realizing Faith's words.

"**You knew I was expecting someone ?"**

"**Dawn called me an hour ago."**

"**She… An **_**hour**_** ago ?"**

"**She said she couldn't meet you and insisted that you really wanted to go shopping today, so I told her I'd bring you to the mall."** Faith explained with a shrug.

"**What ? She asked me to go with her, I didn't !"**

"**Oh, well if you don't want to go, I guess I'll just…"**

"**No ! I mean, now that you're here, we should go."**

"**Look, B, it's okay if you prefer to go with your sister, I perfectly understand."**

"**Don't be silly, Faith. I'm just surprised. But I'm glad you're here. Now get back in your car, I'll be outside in a minute."**

Faith was still unsure of Buffy's decision, but the blonde smiled her way and she couldn't help but smile back.

"**Okay, see you in a minute then."**

"**Yeah."**

It was hard to break the eye contact they had established, but Buffy forced herself to look away and turn around. She left the room without another word and heard Faith making her way out of the apartment. She sighed heavily, knowing that this was just a set-up from Dawn. Her sister was _so_ going to pay. She knew about her feelings for the brunette because they had talked about it the previous day… right before her sister suggested to go shopping.

"**Why**** did they send me an diabolical sister****, uh ?"** She mumbled to herself.

Being near Faith and not doing anything with her was incredibly frustrating. To be honest, she didn't exactly understand why her fellow slayer wanted to wait when they both knew that all she wanted was to be with her. So, yes, things were a bit more complicated than that, but not being able to see her every day, to touch her whenever she wanted to was driving her crazy. Buffy was aware that there was a lot they needed to talk about, and the rational part of her knew that she needed time to heal from her previous relationship. Jumping into a new one wouldn't make things easier, but she couldn't help wondering what it'd be like with Faith. She wanted to feel again the brunette's lips against hers, she wished to touch her skin and tangle her hands in the beautiful brown locks.

Buffy was easily losing herself into her thoughts when a car's honk pulled her out of her reverie and brought her back to reality. Faith was waiting outside. After one last glance in the bathroom's mirror, Buffy grabbed her purse, switched off the light and exited the apartment.

* * *

><p>Satsu knocks softly on Willow and Kennedy's bedroom door as to not disturb the witch if she's busy. But a soft voice quickly tells her to come in and so she does. The redhead is sitting on her bed, her back resting against a pillow and a laptop carefully placed on her thighs.<p>

"**Hey Satsu ! I thought I'd recognized your voice."**

"**Hi. Am I interrupting you ?"**

"**Oh, no, I wasn't doing anything important."**

Willow points out the bed and says :

"**C'mon, sit down."**

"**I wanted to talk to you." **Satsu starts while taking place next to the witch.

"**About… Buffy ?"**

"**I don't know if she told you that we're no longer together."**

"**No, she didn't."**

The Japanese slayer studies her friend's facial expression and murmurs softly :

"**And yet you don't seem surprised."**

"**Well, I knew this was bound to happen. Of course I wasn't expecting it to be so soon, but… No, I'm not surprised."**

"**Good."**

"**You want to talk about it."**

It isn't a question, but a statement. Satsu slowly nods and Willow offers her a comforting and encouraging smile.

"**Go ahead then. I'm all ears."**

"**If I'm asking things you don't want to answer, just tell me, okay ?"**

"**Hum, yeah, okay."**

She takes a deep breath before asking bluntly :

"**How long did it take you to get over Tara ?"**

If Willow is taken aback by the question, she doesn't show it. Instead, she really thinks about it before giving an answer :

"**I don't think I'll ever be over Tara, because we never really had a closure, you know ? She just… died. A part of me will always love her."**

"**So… What about Kennedy then ?"**

"**I'm in love with Kennedy. She's very different from Tara. It's hard to explain, but there's no comparison between the two of them. I never try to compare Ken to Tara."**

"**But… Isn't that what everyone does, even if it's unconsciously ?"**

"**Maybe. Do you believe that Buffy unconsciously compared you to Faith while you were together ?"**

"**I don't know. Part of me believes that, yes."**

The redhead takes Satsu's hands in hers and looks her in the eye.

"**Satsu. I didn't talk with Buffy about any of this. But trust me, she's sorry. I don't think she really knew what she felt for Faith even back in Sunnydale, long before you came in the picture. When you guys were dating, she was happy, okay ? Remember that. You were part of her happiness. Now, I know that things went bad when Faith came back, but this is something that no one could've planned."**

"**Don't you think I should've realized that Buffy would never be able to love me back ?"**

"**Well, personally, I don't think you can **_**realize**_** that sort of thing. I mean, you were happy so why would you have bothered to look at the little, insignificant details ?"**

"**Maybe because those details were in fact signs. You know, like warnings."**

They stop talking for a few seconds and just look at their hands still holding.

"**What if I can't get over her ?"** Satsu whispers in a shaky voice.

"**You will. You're a beautiful young lady, and you're smart and strong, and you can have anyone."**

"**Anyone but her."**

"**I know it hurts. Trust me, I know a lot of things about this kind of pain. But you'll learn to live with it. Don't be sad, Satsu, because you tried. You did your best to make things work. And you'll see that life is full of harsh delusions like this one. Even if it hits you hard, you're stronger than that and you'll always stand back up. Don't let it break you. After Tara's death I refused to believe in love. I wasn't looking for anyone. And then Kennedy arrived, and I realized that it'd be incredibly stupid to let the opportunity to live something fantastic go away just because I was afraid to lose it again. Because, let's face it, if you don't try, you have nothing to lose. That's right. But you don't feel anything either. And that's not being alive."**

At the end of Willow's little speech, Satsu wipes away the tears that escaped her while listening.

"**You're right. I know you're right, but why does it have to hurt so much ?"**

"**That's the question I can't answer. If there was any way to take your pain away, I would."**

The Wicca gently strokes the slayer's hair in an attempt to comfort her.

"**You're so young, Satsu… Buffy wasn't the one for you, but you'll find the right person one day. Just let yourself live, and be ready."**

"**How come you're so wise ? You sound like you've seen it all already."**

"**Well, probably not everything, but I've seen a lot, yeah."**

"… **Thank you. It was nice talking to you. I guess I just needed someone to tell me those things."**

"**I'm sure that you and Buffy will be friends sometime in the future. Just give it time to heal."**

"**I know. I'll have to say goodbye to her. I guess it's just a bad moment to live, but I'll be away soon."**

"**Everything will work out just fine."**

Satsu remains with Willow for a while after their conversation. They talk about anything but Buffy, and she's pleased to see that her ex-girlfriend's best friend has a lot of common points with her. They like pretty much the same things, and the two of them spend another hour listening to music and talking about magic and girls.

* * *

><p>When Satsu goes back to her room at Xander's later that day, she finds a letter on the bed. Her name is written on it and she frowns because she doesn't recognize the handwriting. She opens it feverishly and starts reading.<p>

_Satsu,_

_I've heard about you and Buffy. I'm really sorry. I know what it feels like, and I hope you'll be fine. If you ever need to talk about it, just come to L.A and I'll be glad to listen to you. Take care of yourself._

_Angel._

Well, that's something she wasn't expecting at all. But it's a good surprise. She's all cheered-up now, and Satsu knows there's only one last thing she has to do before leaving : talking to Buffy.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Was it good ? I know I can do better, but since I'm back at college, I have an awful lot of homework to do and that means less time to write ! Inspiration seems to be back slowly, though.<strong>_

_**Hope you liked it !**_

_**OTH-FOQ**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it took a while to update. I really don't have much time to write now, it sucks a lot. Anyway, I hope you'll like it. No Satsu in this chapter !**

**Make sure to leave a few words to tell me what you think :)**

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><p>"<strong>I'm starving."<strong>

"**When aren't you ?"**

"**Can't we just stop and eat something ? I didn't have any lunch."**

"**It's six p.m, can't you wait another hour ?"**

"**Well, do you want me to carry your bags or not ?"**

Buffy smiled, a little annoyed, and turned to face her friend.

"**You're such a child, Faith."**

"**You don't need to remind me that I'm younger than you, Grandma."**

Faking to be offended, the blonde slayer poked the brunette in the ribs just hard enough to hurt a little.

"**Ouch ! Hey watch it, you can't hit a child !"**

"**Well you can't hit an old lady either, so don't even try."**

Buffy continued to walk, oblivious to the fact that Faith had stopped in front of a pastry shop. When she realized that she was alone, she looked back and chuckled at the sight of Faith almost drooling all over the sidewalk. Slowly, she walked back towards her and put a hand on the brunette's right shoulder.

"**C'mon Faith, let's buy you something before you starve to death."**

The smile on her fellow slayer's face was reward enough. The look they exchanged told Buffy all that she needed to know. There was no way she'd live her life without Faith in it from now on.

* * *

><p>"<strong>Hello ?"<strong>

"**It's Ken."**

"**What's up, brat ?"**

"**You tell me, moron."**

Faith raised an eyebrow at the unexpected harshness of her friend's tone and turned away from Buffy who was watching her intently.

"**Ken, what's wrong ?"**

"**I am your friend, Lehane, I am your **_**fucking **_**friend ! How could you not tell me ?"**

"**Okay, hold on a sec."**

She apologized quietly to Buffy and pointed the door before leaving the apartment quickly.

"**Okay, now talk, Kennedy."**

"**How could you not tell me that Buffy wasn't with Satsu anymore ?"**

"**Oh. I guess I forgot."**

"**I don't see your face, that doesn't mean I don't know you're lying !"**

"**Listen, seriously, I didn't think it was worth mentioning. They still have a lot to talk about."**

"**To hell with that ! This is your chance ! Why aren't you with her ?"**

"**Actually, I was until you called."**

A silence followed her declaration. Then, Kennedy spoke again, her voice softer.

"**Did I interrupt anything ?"**

"**No. We just came back from shopping. I was about to leave."**

"**You're not staying with her ?"**

"**Didn't you see me at your house every day and night this week ? No, I'm not staying. We agreed on taking things slowly."**

Faith heard Kennedy's distinct scoff and frowned.

"**What ?"**

"**Faith, really ? You guys have been taking things way too slow since the beginning ! I mean, you've known each other for more than 5 years !"**

"**And I spent three of them in jail, another one trying to kill her and her friends, and…"**

"**But she always wanted you, and you can't deny that you've been fighting the urge to pin her against a wall and have your way with her more than once. Besides…"**

"**Wow wow wow, I'm stopping you right here, Ken. All this belongs to the past. We are different now. I don't want our relationship to start on the wrong foot."**

"**Alright, your call. But don't try to shit me again. I want to know everything, understood ?"**

"**Yeah, I've got it."**

"**Good. Now go back to her and be over-flirty."**

Faith chuckled and shook her head. Kennedy's bluntness was still the same after all these years.

"**I'll see you later, Junior."**

"**You bet."**

They both hung up, and the brunette slayer sighed before stepping back into Buffy's apartment. The blonde was nowhere in sight.

"**Hum, B ?"**

"**In the bedroom !"**

Faith swallowed hard, trying not to think about Kennedy's comments and the fact that she was joining Buffy in her _bedroom_.

"**Hey. What's up with Kennedy ? Is she okay ?"**

"**Yeah she's… She wanted to know where I was."**

"**What is she, your mother ?"**

"**My mom never gave a shit about where I was or what I was doing. Guess that explains a lot."**

Buffy smiled apologetically and shrugged. It was still hard to remember that hers and Faith's childhood had been nothing alike. Her fellow slayer never had a loving family or real friends.

"**So anyway, whatcha doin' in your room, B ?"**

"**I wanted to try my new outfits."**

"**Oh. I guess I'll just leave you to…"**

"**No way ! You're staying."**

"**But… Why ?"**

"**I need a second opinion."**

"**You already tried them all at the mall !"**

"**Now it's different !"**

Faith raised an eyebrow but sat down on the edge of the bed anyway. She was glad to spend some time with the blonde Slayer. She knew that taking things slow was the right choice, but it killed her to be away from Buffy all the time. She hadn't seen her in three days so she had to make up for the time lost.

"**Alright, I'm staying."**

"**Good."**

And just like that, Buffy started to remove her shirt. Before Faith could react, she was only wearing her black bra. The dark Slayer quickly looked down. She didn't want to torture herself with images of Buffy almost half naked in front of her.

"**B ?"**

"**Yeah ?"**

"**Are you sure this is a good idea ?"**

"**Oh come on, Faith, don't tell me you've never seen a woman in a bra !"**

"**No, but none of them were you."**

Buffy smiled sweetly and hastily put on a green top she had just bought.

"**Okay you can look up now. What do you think ?"**

"**You're… as beautiful as ever."**

And it was hard to resist, because their connection was strong and the tension around them only pulled them closer together. But they knew better than to give in.

"**Thanks."**

Faith stood up and motioned toward the door.

"**I just remembered that I had to go see Xander today !"**

"**Isn't he away for the entire week ?"**

"**No ! I mean, he was, but he came back early and asked me to come over."**

"**Oh. Okay."**

"**I should go."**

"**Yeah."**

Okay, maybe there was something stronger than them, because when they locked eyes, Buffy moved forward and raised her hand to caress Faith's left cheek.

"**Faith…"**

"**B ?"**

"**Thank you for today. I had fun."**

"**Me too."**

"**Do you really have to leave ?"**

"**I… It's better if I do."**

"**Why ?"** Buffy asked innocently.

"**Cos if I don't, I'll do something we'll both regret."**

"**I'm not sure I'd regret it, Faith."**

But the younger Slayer took the blonde's hand in hers and gently kissed it before replacing it down Buffy's side.

"**I don't wanna wait, Faith. I wanna be with you."**

"**Let's just give it another week at least, okay ? Maybe you'll change your mind."**

"**You know I won't. I know what I want, and that is you."**

Faith forced herself to step back. She had never expected the golden-haired Slayer to be so honest so fast. She was caught a bit off-guard.

"**Well… If you don't need time, Buffy, then just give **_**me**_** some. I… This is so unbelievable, you know ? You, wanting me. After all these years of hoping that you'd notice me, that I'd have your attention, I finally do. And it's kinda freaking me out."**

"**Oh. I… I'm sorry."**

"**No, it's not… I don't want you to apologize for that, B. It's no one's fault. We were young, and I was lost and weak, and it would never have worked, so don't be sorry. I just mean that now that we're really considering being together as a… couple, we should take it slow."**

"**I understand. Okay. Just know that I'm here and I'm focusing on getting better, alright ?"**

"**Alright. And by the way… I want you too."**

Buffy grinned and asked playfully :

"**Does that mean I can have a kiss before you leave ?"**

"**Uh, yeah, I guess I can do that for you."**

The dark Slayer licked her lips in anticipation and she walked toward the blonde with painfully slow movements. But when their mouths collided, it was anything but slow. The sparks ignited by the kiss were threatening to burn down the house and the fire quickly began to burn within both of them. Buffy was refusing to let go of Faith's hair and neck, and the brunette herself wasn't exactly willing to leave just now. Her hands were resting on Buffy's hips, and she could barely manage to keep them from travelling under the green top covering the Slayer's perfect body. They continued to kiss heavily for a few minutes. When Buffy let out a moan, Faith seemed to snap back to reality and she broke away quickly.

"**Shit, I'm sorry, B…"**

"**What are you sorry for ? That's exactly what I want." **She answered, trying to catch her breath.

"**I know, and I can't give it to you now, that's why I'm sorry. I… I'll see you tomorrow."**

And she practically ran out of the room, leaving a dumbfounded Buffy behind her.

* * *

><p>Faith really needed a cigarette. She had given up the bad habit of smoking a while ago now, but the recent events made her crave some nicotine.<p>

"**Hey Ken."**

"**Oh hey, you're back ! Back early, which probably means…"**

"**I didn't have sex with Buffy, okay ?"**

"**Well, judging by your grumpy attitude, maybe you should've."**

"**Watch it, Ken, I'm not in the mood."**

"**C'mon, you're totally dying to do it with her !"**

"**But I can't !"**

Kennedy sat down on a chair and let her elbows rest on the kitchen table. Faith was sitting across the table.

"**Why ? Why can't you ? Obviously, it's not that you don't want it, so what is it ?"**

"**She's not herself."**

"**Uh ?"**

"**She… I can't get involve with her that way if she doesn't feel better."**

"**She looks better."**

"**It's been a week, Ken."**

"**But you're here now, and I can tell you that it changes everything."**

"**Do you realize what it means ?"**

"**That she loves you ?"**

Faith sighed at the mention of the L word.

"**No. It means she relies on me. What happens if I get bored and decide to skip town ? If I'm needed somewhere in the world ? If somehow I have to leave her ? I can't be with her because she's not herself. She needs to be strong again, to be independent first. Do you understand, Kennedy ?"**

"**Yeah… I guess I wasn't seeing things this way. It makes sense. But I still think that you being near is really helping her. After all, she's just afraid of being abandoned again. Trust me, the girl has some serious abandonment issues."**

"**Buffy has a lot of issues."**

They laughed and Faith got up.

"**Thanks Ken. I'm heading to Xan's. Told him I'd have a drink with him. Don't wait up, I'll be late. Which means you'll have the house for you and Red for the few next hours."**

"**Alright, make a lot of noise when you come back so that we know we have to… Y'know."**

"**I get the idea. See you !"**

"**Bye !"**

Kennedy watched her friend leave the house and smiled. Then she shouted :

"**Hey Will ? Looks like we have the place for ourselves for a while ! You upstairs ?"**

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><p><strong>I haven't begun to write next chapter yet. Maybe your reviews will motivate me and inspire me. I really hope so :)<strong>

**Next chapter ASAP.**

**OTH-FOQ**


	11. Chapter 11

**I apologize for this update that took forever to come. Hopefully the next one will be posted soon.**

**This chapter only contains Satsu/Buffy POV. It's not the best, but you still need to read it because it's important. Aaaaand because if I don't read at least 5 of your awesome reviews, I won't post the next one. Trust me, that would be too bad because it's kinda smokin' hot. (I'm a bit fishing for reviews here, in case someone didn't take the hint ! lol)**

**You guys know what to do ;)**

**AN update : Well, next chapter will be delayed, unfortunately. Too many things happen lately in my life and I don't have time to write.**

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><p>Today's the bid day for Satsu. She wakes up early and doesn't complain when she gets up. Tonight, she'll leave this town, possibly forever. She's not too sure about that, but she took the decision not to think about it yet. She's not even gone, why bother ?<p>

Dawn and Xander are both at home for once, and they greet her happily. It is obvious that they try to act as if today's the same as any other day. They talk a lot during breakfast, which is new since Dawn was never really fond of her. Xander, on the contrary, is the kind of man that everybody loves. He always made her feel welcomed. She'll be forever grateful to him.

Satsu packs her bags and tidies the room she slept in during the week. Then she takes a hot shower and lets the water run onto her until the bathroom's mirror is no longer reflecting her image. When everything's ready for her to leave, she tells her hosts that she's heading to her former apartment. They nod quietly, knowing what it implies. Another big, great talk for Buffy. Hopefully the last one. The blonde Slayer doesn't need to be reminded of how badly she screwed things up with Satsu.

* * *

><p>Buffy woke up peacefully on that Saturday morning, the sun shining brightly behind the curtains of her bedroom window. She took her time to get ready, knowing that she didn't have anything to do before the evening. After the awkward moment with Faith a couple of days ago, they hadn't seen each other. The brunette had only called her a few times. But Kennedy insisted to go clubbing tonight, as a goodbye party for Satsu, or something like that, and neither of them could have refused. And internally, Buffy was thrilled to know that she was going to see Faith again.<p>

She took a long, warm shower and got dressed, all the while thinking about the evening and how excited she was to have the opportunity to dance again, with Faith of all people. She remembered exactly how hot and free she had felt back in The Bronze almost nine years ago. And tonight she was going to relive those feelings and reignite a flame everybody thought had long deserted her being.

* * *

><p>It's almost noon when Satsu finally takes the direction of Buffy's apartment. She wanted to go there sooner, but somehow she couldn't. But now she's ready to face her ex-girlfriend, and it seems like Buffy's home so everything is fine. She knocks on the door and thinks it's weird, because it was her apartment only a week ago. As she waits for an answer, she quickly tries to remember all the things she wants to say. The door opens, and the blonde Slayer appears, wearing a pair of blue jeans and a black camisole. As usual, it takes Satsu's breath away.<p>

"**Satsu ?"**

"**Hi. I, uh… May I come in ?"**

"**Of course !" **

Buffy holds the door open for the Japanese slayer and closes it quietly when they're both inside.

"**I wasn't expecting to see you."**

"**I'm sorry, were you doing something ? Cos I can come back later !"** Satsu says nervously.

"**No, no, it's okay. Do you… wanna drink something ?"**

"**Maybe just a glass of water."**

"**I'll be right back."**

The blonde disappears into the kitchen, and it gives Satsu a few seconds to take in the surroundings. She notices that a few things have changed, like the lamp next to the couch, or the place of the television. Nothing too big, though. She remembers that Buffy had been in charge of the decoration of the apartment when they had first moved in together, so it's not surprising that she didn't move everything out of its place. Knowing that it's probably the last time she'll be standing in this living-room, Satsu tries to engrave in her memory all the details of the room. Buffy comes back after a short minute, carrying two glasses of water. She hands one to Satsu.

"**Thanks."**

"**I assume you came here with a purpose."**

"**Wow. That sounded a lot like Giles."**

"**I'm getting old."**

They share a smile, and it eases the tension. Buffy sits down on the couch and invites Satsu to do the same.

"**As you know, I'm leaving tonight. I know I could've waited to see you at the club, but… I wanted to talk to you in private first. And without alcohol."**

"**I understand. I'm listening."**

"**Things are still fresh and sore, but I might never return once I leave, Buffy. That's why there are a few points I want to discuss. Things I need to know."**

"**Ask me. I'll try to answer the best I can."**

"**How long have you been in love with Faith ?"**

Her first question is followed by ten whole seconds of silence. The blonde Slayer is looking at her in the eye, and Satsu knows she has to keep her head up if she wants an answer.

"**A very long time, I guess."**

"**How long ? Before we got together ?"**

"**Probably. But I wasn't… aware, conscious of those feelings. I swear it, Satsu."**

"**Do you think that's why you gave me my chance ? Because I was a slayer, like her ?"**

"**I… I'm not sure, maybe unconsciously."**

"**Were you thinking about her while we were having sex ?"**

Buffy is a bit uncomfortable and Satsu can feel it, but she doesn't really care. She has to be blunt and straightforward even if it hurts her to hear her ex-girlfriend's answers.

"**Buffy ?"**

"**Maybe once."**

But the hesitation is visible on her face and Satsu raises an eyebrow.

"**Okay, maybe more than once. But never before she came back here for Ken and Will's anniversary."**

She was expecting this, but her heart still shatters in a thousand little pieces when Satsu hears Buffy's confession.

"**Satsu, maybe we shouldn't…"**

"**No ! I asked for it. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. And I'm glad you're willing to answer my questions. I know they're very personal."**

"**It's okay. You deserve to know, it's the least I can do."**

"**Why didn't you tell her how you felt ? Why didn't you break things up with me when she first got here ?"**

"**Because… I was lost. I didn't want to acknowledge my feelings for her and… you were being the perfect girlfriend and I didn't want to lose you."**

"**You should've been honest with me, Buffy."**

"**I know. I'm sorry."**

"**I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I've had time to think lately. Plenty of time. And, honestly ? I understand why you fell for her. I mean, everyone she meets has to have at least a crush on her. And it was always kinda obvious that she only had eyes for you."**

"**How could you see that ?"**

Satsu chuckles and shakes her head swiftly. Buffy has a look of total surprise on her face.

"**You were the only one who couldn't see it, Buffy. Will, Xander, Dawn, Ken… Hell, even Angel knew."**

"**Angel ? You… You talked to Angel ?"**

"**Well… He talked to me."**

"**Great. Just great. Everybody knew but me."**

Satsu empties her glass and puts it on the small table in front of her. Then she turns to look back at Buffy who is still processing the information.

"**If she hadn't come back, do you think you could've learnt to love me ?"**

She didn't want her voice to sound so vulnerable and desperate, but this time she couldn't control the emotion in it. The golden-haired Slayer sits closer to her and takes both of her hands in hers.

"**Satsu, I do love you. I really care about you."**

"**That's not what I meant."**

"**I know. But I can't answer this one, because I have no idea how things would've evolved if Faith had stayed away. There's one thing I'm sure of, though. You are an amazing person, Satsu. You will have no trouble to find someone who will truly love you, like you deserve to be loved."**

A short silence follows her declaration, and the Japanese girl manages to smile.

"**Thank you."**

Then she gets up and says :

"**I should go. I'll see you tonight."**

"**Uh, okay."**

Before she leaves, Satsu thinks of one more thing to say, one thing that she knows since the very beginning.

"**For what it's worth, Buffy… You two are soulmates. No matter what happens, you'll always find your way back to each other."**

And she closes the door behind her, because there's no way Buffy will see the first tear rolling on her cheek.

* * *

><p>Buffy spent an hour sitting on her couch after Satsu's departure. Their conversation was playing over and over again in her head, and despite the other girl's words, she felt incredibly guilty. And she knew why. She had been selfish. She had always known that what she felt for Faith was more than a simple attraction. The feelings triggered by the brunette had so often overwhelmed her that it was impossible for her not to realize what was happening. She knew she loved Faith already way back in Sunnydale. And it had been a very selfish act to deny those feelings because it had hurt Faith, Satsu and herself. She could've spared the young girl a heartbreak. And she could've told the truth four months ago when she had finally realized how in love with Faith she was, how much she needed her. But Satsu had been the secured choice. She was sure that the Japanese Slayer would never leave her, whereas Faith was still wild and unpredictable, although a lot more mature.<p>

It all came back to her fears of being left alone. Satsu loved her so much that she would never have dared to leave her, but Faith ? Faith needed action, adrenaline, and adventure in her life. And Buffy wasn't sure she could give her that. She was afraid of the day when Faith would grow tired of her and disappear into the world without a warning. Angel had left her. Riley had left her. And she could even include her mom in the Let's-leave-Buffy list. That wasn't exactly fair, but Buffy knew she had issues with abandonment. Her father had been the first one to give up on her. And that's how it probably all began.

Her shrink had told her she had to overcome her fears and to stop relying on the people around her. It was the only solution for those fears to go away. And she knew he was totally right. There was no way she would let ghosts from her past get the best of her and take Faith away from her. A war needed to be done ? Well she was a warrior.

Starting tonight, she was going to fight her inner demons.

* * *

><p><strong>Please, forgive the mistakes. I don't have a beta reader, and I'm totally not a native speaker. I hope it doesn't bother your reading too much. I'd hate to lose readers just because of that.<strong>

**OTH-FOQ**


	12. Chapter 12

**_I was supposed to update wayyy sooner than this. But my computer kinda died on me, and being the stupid writer that I am, I didn't have any copy of the story so I lost the chapter I had written. No need to say that it totally discouraged me so I rewrote it of course, but I think it's less good than the original version. Anyway, it's also softer than the first version, and I don't think it's necessary to rate it M. You tell me._**

**_No Satsu here. I know the party's supposed to be for her, but since she's talked with Buffy, there's not really a storyline for her anymore. She just needs to leave. :)_**

* * *

><p>The club was crowded with people when they arrived. Xander and Dawn had decided to pick up Willow, Kennedy and Buffy. They would meet Faith there. The brunette had decided to take her motorcycle tonight, and since there wasn't any place in the car anyway, no one had objected. Satsu had a few things to do and she had to see Giles before joining her friends at the club.<p>

They all sat in a small booth in one of the corner of the main room and ordered a bottle of vodka with caramel sirup for them all. Willow and Kennedy were the first couple to invade the dance-floor and they started dancing under the amused looks of their friends. At the beginning of their relationship, no one would've bet they'd last more than three months. They were really different, and Xander and Buffy particularly knew that Willow was not over Tara. But the two young women had managed to make it work. And they were as happy as they could be. Buffy secretly envied her best-friend's happiness. Of course she remembered all the pain Willow had had to endure before finding peace with Kennedy, but she couldn't help the tiny part of jealousy burning inside her. However, she was hopeful now, confident that she'd find happiness soon… with Faith.

Speaking of Faith, she finally appeared at the door of the club twenty minutes after them. Buffy's jaw dropped when she spotted her, and her friends quickly turned their heads to see what was leaving the blonde speechless. Faith was wearing a pair of tight black leathers, high-heeled boots and a red camisole that let very little to the imagination. She smiled at them and first walked to the bar before joining them with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"**Hey guys ! I know I said to not wait for me to start drinking, but hell ! Your bottle's almost empty !"**

"**There are five of us, Faith. We only had one fill."** Xander answered.

"**Oh. I'm not sharing JD."**

"**You're the only one who likes that stuff."**

"**B does too."**

"**Only when she's already too drunk to feel the taste of it."**

"**Hey !"** Buffy feigned to be offended but her smile gave her away.

"**Now let me have a drink and let's enjoy the night, shall we ?"** Faith asked with a smirk.

Buffy couldn't help looking at her while she drank directly from her bottle of whiskey. She thought it was inhuman to be so beautiful and sexy. Faith's hotness was something she'd want to be the only one to have the right to see. She must've dozed off for a minute because suddenly Willow snapped her fingers in front of her and she came back to reality.

"**Earth to B ?"**

"**Huh ?"**

"**I said let's dance !"**

Faith held out her hand to Buffy, a playful smirk floating on her lips. Matching her fellow Slayer's grin, Buffy took her hand and got up.

"**Who's with us ?"**

Only Willow and Kennedy declined, having already danced before Faith's arrival. The others quickly joined the crowd on the dance-floor and Faith frowned when she sees Buffy already grinding against a young man. But she let it go because she knew Buffy needed to live a little. She kept an eye on her though, not wanting anyone to come too close to the blonde Slayer. When she tried to approach her, she noticed the spark in Buffy's eyes and it made her slowly step backward. Understanding that she wouldn't be able to come any closer, Faith turned away and started dancing with Xander instead. Five minutes later, she felt another body pressing against her back and she grinned, knowing exactly who it was. Xander seemed to get the message and excused himself before going back to their table, dragging Dawn behind him.

"**So, Faith…"** A voice purred into the brunette's right ear.

"**Yeah, B ?"**

"**Seems like it's only the two of us now."**

"**There are plenty of people around us."**

Faith didn't know if Buffy had already had too many drinks but she was bolder than usual… and she liked it. She could feel the blonde Slayer's hands all over her body and hell if it wasn't turning her on. She tried to face Buffy but a strong arm around her waist prevented her from doing so.

"**I don't care about them, F. The only person I care about is right here with me…"**

"**B, did they spike your drink again ?"**

"**No, why ?"**

Faith was about to answer when she felt teeth softly nibbling at her ear. This time, she turned round swiftly without missing a beat of the music. Buffy's usually emerald eyes were so black in the darkness of the club that Faith almost lost her balance. She had never received such a look from Buffy… or from anyone else. It was as if she could see exactly what the blonde was thinking. And the thoughts were not pure and chaste.

"**Maybe we should sit down, okay ?"**

"**Tired already ?"**

"**Actually… Yeah."**

The brunette didn't wait for a reply and hurried back to the table where the others were gathered. When she looked over her shoulder, Buffy was still dancing, with a girl this time. Close, very close to each other. So close that Faith had to look away to keep her cool. Kennedy shot her a sympathetic look, but Faith shrugged it off. If that's how Buffy was going to behave, then two could play this game.

"**I'm going outside. I need a smoke. Xan ? Care to join me ?"**

"**I don't…"**

He trailed off when he felt Dawn's elbow poking his ribs. The young man frowned and stood up, finally understanding why he had to go too. After Willow's girlfriend, Xander was the member of the Scooby-Gang Faith had grown close to. She had become fond of him and they liked to think they were some kind of sister and brother.

"**Uh, okay, sure."**

They left the club and its heated atmosphere together. As soon as they stepped outside, Faith turned to face Xander.

"**What the hell is wrong with Buffy ?"**

"**Uh ?"**

"**She's different !"**

"**I didn't notice."**

"**She… How many drinks did she have ?"**

"**Just one. Faith, calm down, okay ? Maybe after she's danced you could try and talk to her."**

The dark Slayer took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Her friend was right, she was completely overreacting. But seeing Buffy like this… Well, it was totally a turn-on, that's why it had to stop.

"**You're right. Sorry. Let's go back inside."**

"**Are you sure ? You don't want to clear your mind first ?"**

"**I'm fine."**

* * *

><p>Okay, so maybe 'fine' wasn't the exact word because as soon as her brown eyes spotted Buffy on the dance floor, Faith felt like she couldn't breathe anymore. Suddenly, wearing leather seemed a very stupid idea to her. She met the blonde's gaze and automatically walked towards her. She didn't remember starting dancing, but when she finally reached Buffy, Faith's body was in symbiosis with the music.<p>

"**You're back…"**

"**I couldn't exactly let you here by yourself."**

"**Jealous, Faith ? I have to say, green suits you."**

The wink Buffy gave her sent shivers down her spine.

"**Just shut up and let me dance, B."**

"**Show me your best moves, Faithy."**

And so she did. Their bodies pressed together, hands roaming freely and shamelessly on each other, the two Slayers forgot the world around them. It was something that never failed to amaze them, the heat they created without trying to. Soon, the people around them gathered in circle and they vaguely heard whistles over the music. But they were too lost in each other to care. One hand on Faith's hip and the other tangled in the brown locks of hair, Buffy murmured in her ear :

"**Dancing is great, but I'd like something a little more… private."**

She felt Faith tighten her grip on her hips and smirked when she got no answer.

"**What is it, F ? Afraid you can't handle me ?"**

"**Please, I can **_**totally**_** handle you, in more ways than one, B."**

"**How about a little demonstration ?"**

After one last meaningful look, conveying all her current feelings, Buffy left the dance floor and disappeared to the bathroom, hoping that the brunette would follow her. To her surprise, she didn't have to wait more than a minute. A pair of soft yet strong arms circled her waist and she felt lips press on the side of her neck.

"**What's the game, Buffy ?"**

"**Who said anything about a game ?"**

"**You're trying to set me on fire, or what ?"**

"**Is that your way to tell me that it worked ?"**

"**No, **_**this**_** is my way to tell you it worked."**

She took Buffy's elbow and spun her on her heels so that they were face to face. Without any further hesitation nor second thought, she kissed her fiercely. Now was not the time for tenderness. Faith had tried to fight the lust but it had been simply too hard, and Buffy had pushed the right buttons tonight. When they finally broke apart, Buffy looked kinda shocked and confused. When she finally managed to catch her breath, she said :

"**Well, that was… Can you do that again ?"**

"**As you wish, princess. But remember, you asked for it."**

Maybe drinking so much JD so fast hadn't been a good idea, but Faith was too far gone to care. She brought her lips back on Buffy's and began to kiss her with all she had.

"**F… Faith, stop."**

"**Why ? Isn't that what you want ?"**

"**Yeah, it is but…"**

Sensing that Buffy needed to say something, Faith pulled away just enough to look her in the eye.

"**There's something I need to tell you, Faith."**

"**I'm all ears."**

"**Tomorrow afternoon I'll be out of town."**

"**When will you get back ?"**

"…"

"**B ?"**

"**I don't know."**

Faith frowned and stepped back, all naughty thoughts leaving her mind.

"**What are you trying to say, Buffy ?"**

"**You were right. I do rely on the people around me. I can't do that anymore. So I've decided to take a few weeks to myself. To think about what I want and what I need. It'll give you time too."**

"**So you got me all worked up only to tell me then that you're leaving me ?"**

"**Faith, please, understand me…"**

"**I do, I understand, Buffy. I just don't get why you set up all this before. You have no idea of how much I want you right now."**

The blonde Slayer smiled and brought one hand on Faith's right thigh, slowly drawing circles on it.

"**Actually, I think I do."**

"**B…"**

"**Do it, Faith. Consider it as a goodbye gift. Make sure I remember you while I'm gone."**

"**You sure ? Here ?"**

"**I've never been so sure in my whole life. Here or elsewhere, I don't care. Just… Make me yours."**

"**I love you, Buffy. I can't do that without you knowing it."**

"**I know. God, I love you too…"**

Faith could swear her heart had stopped when she heard the words. She did the only thing she could think of : she kissed Buffy. But this time, it was a slow, tender kiss. When her hands started lifting up Buffy's skirt, she broke the kiss and latched onto the blonde's neck, all the while whispering words of love.

"**You'll remember me, Buffy. Promise me you'll come back."**

"**I will. Of course I will."**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Forgive the mistakes, please. I think it won't take long now to wrap up the story. Hope some of you are still reading ! You know what they say, hours to write, seconds to review !<strong>_

_**OTH-FOQ**_


	13. Chapter 13

**_Hum, sorry ? What else is to say ? I lost inspiration for the story since I'm all Legend of the Seeker for now. But I'll finish this one, there's only one chapter left to write ! So if there's anyone still reading (and I'm sure there is because you guys have been so great at reviewing and all) let me know :)_**

* * *

><p>Satsu tries not to let her emotions show on her face when she joins her friends to the table and notices that Faith's hand disappears under it while Buffy's sitting right next to her. Almost on her, to be exact. She does her best to ignore what this hand might be doing to her former girlfriend. Instead, she greets them all with a smile. Xander goes back to his place next to Dawn.<p>

"**Hey Satsu, where are your bags ?"** Kennedy asks.

"**Giles dropped me here and Xander offered to put them all in his car. Then he'll drive me to the airport."**

"**Xander has drunk more than allowed."**

"**Thanks Buff, but I only took one fill and Satsu has to be at the airport in two hours. I think I'll be fine by then."**

The conversation is oriented on Satsu, and what she'll do once she's settled in Japan, and she tries to answer the best that she can. The young Slayer is grateful to see that Faith and Buffy have straightened their positions and are no longer touching each other. She doesn't look at Buffy; it's too hard. She's noticed that the blonde is glowing, and she knows all too well _why_. Instead, she empties her glass and catches Willow's hand, dragging her on the dance-floor.

"**C'mon, I want everybody up !"**

They all comply happily, knowing that this is the last opportunity they'll have to dance all together. As if they knew, the rest of the crowd steps aside and sort of form a circle around the merry band. Satsu is the only one officially single and she gladly presses herself against every willing body on the dance floor. If this is her last night in town, she'll make it worth remembering. Even Buffy dances with her and for one last time she allows her hands to roam her perfect body, to grab her hips to pull her closer. Faith watches but doesn't intervene nor say a word and Satsu is grateful. After one dance, Buffy leans in and Satsu fears for a second that she's going to kiss her, but the Slayer whispers in her ear :

"**Thank you for everything, Satsu. Thank you for being so great."**

Satsu can't answer, because she's too surprised to even think about what she could say. So she simply nods, and just like that, Buffy lets go of her and turns toward Faith.

* * *

><p>"<strong>So… Thanks for driving me to the airport Xander."<strong>

"**No problem."**

"**Take care of you. And of everybody else."**

"**I will. Give me a call when you're settled, okay ?"**

"**Sure."**

Xander hugs Satsu for a brief moment and then she disappears behind the doors of the gigantic airport of the town. The young man sighs and walks back to his car, hoping things would be better for everyone now.

* * *

><p>The morning came too quickly for Faith and Buffy. Both asleep in the blonde's room, in each other's arms, they felt like everything was finally going to be okay. After saying their goodbyes to Satsu, they had all left the club. Willow and Kennedy had taken a cab with Dawn, whereas Buffy had climbed on Faith's motorcycle with the brunette. They hadn't meant to end up in the same bed, but with all the alcohol in their system and after their little encounter in the club's bathroom, it was the event that was most likely to happen.<p>

Buffy sighed happily and stirred up a little, showing the first signs of consciousness. Immediately she snuggled closer to the warm body next to her and was welcomed by a kiss on the top of her head.

"**Good morning."**

"**You sure it's still morning ?"**

"**Well, it's almost 11 a.m, but technically yes."**

They stayed a moment longer in bed before agreeing to get up.

"**I'm gonna take a shower."**

"**The bathroom's on the left."**

"**Thanks B."**

"**I'll be downstairs, do you want to eat something ?"**

"**I could eat a horse, but bacon and eggs will do."**

Buffy smiled and swiftly placed a kiss on the brunette's lips before heading downstairs. Once alone, Faith looked around her. The room was a mess, clearly the result of the tornado they had created the previous night. Then she remembered Buffy's words about leaving town and she frowned. Everything was finally going in the right direction, so maybe it wasn't necessary for the blonde to go away. Immediately after, she shook the thought out of her head. If Buffy felt like she needed to be on her own for a while, it was because there was no other option. And she really wanted to make things work whatever the cost was.

* * *

><p>"<strong>Faith spent the night with Buffy."<strong>

"**Well duh."**

Willow raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend.

"**Did you know ?"**

"**Oh, c'mon Will ! Last night they totally did it in the club's bathroom."**

"**What ?"**

"**It was written all over their faces ! They've been missing for thirty minutes and they came back at the same time !"**

"**Buffy would've told me."**

"**When ? She was glued to Faith's side the entire night !"**

The witch paused to consider Kennedy's words and after a moment her eyes went wide.

"**Oh my… You're right ! Buffy was… She was glowing ! And Faith didn't come back here to sleep…"**

"**I'll talk to Faith, and you'll talk to Buffy, alright ? I want a max of details ! Oh, wait ! I've got a plan."**

* * *

><p>After receiving a text message from Kennedy asking her to be at the apartment as soon as possible with Buffy, Faith told the blonde they needed to hurry. She had no idea what could be so urgent, but Kennedy was her friend so she wasn't about to question it. Thirty minutes later, they were back on Faith's motorcycle on their way to see their friends.<p>

They immediately noticed Xander's car in the driveway but didn't say anything. Buffy knocked on the door and they waited only a few seconds before Kennedy opened the door.

"**Hey, thanks for coming."**

"**Sure, what's the matter ?"**

"**The matter ? Oh, no, there's no such thing."**

The youngest Slayer locked the door behind them and her action confused both Buffy and Faith.

"**Ken ?"**

"**We're all in the living-room, and we want you to tell us what exactly is going on between the two of you."**

Faith took a menacing step toward her friend.

"**A trap ? You set us a trap ? I thought you needed help with something !"**

"**Don't be so grumpy, or I'm gonna start thinking that Buffy left you unsatisfied last night."**

"**Buffy didn't let m… Mmmh !"**

"**Faith !"**

Buffy had placed her hand on Faith's mouth to prevent her from walking right into Kennedy's little trap once again, but seeing the smirk on the young woman's lips, she realized she had been too late.

"**Well well, guess who's going to _love_ this ?"**

* * *

><p>Xander, Dawn, Willow and Kennedy were sitting across Buffy and Faith in the living-room. There was an uncomfortable silence at first, until Xander said :<p>

"**So, those who were expecting this to happen years sooner, raise your hand !"**

And everybody did, except Buffy. When she realized that Faith also had her hand raised, she slapped her gently on the back of her head.

"**Ouch ! I was only giving my opinion !"**

"**I don't like it. It makes me be the only one who didn't know what was going on between you and me !"**

"**Well, you kind of always knew, Buffy."** Willow said sheepishly.

"**You just weren't ready to admit that you were a big lesbian like Will and I."** Kennedy added, smiling when she saw Buffy's frown at her.

"**But, you're glowing, you're happy, so everything's perfect right ?"** Xander said cheerfully.

"**I guess I forgot to mention the part where I leave ?"** Buffy asked hesitantly.

Suddenly the atmosphere was charged again.

"**You what ?"** Dawn shrieked, surprising everyone. Despite being an adult now she still had a way of screaming that was no different than the one she had when she was a kid.

"**I'm taking a vacation from this place. I need a break and I thought now was the right time for this. Satsu being gone doesn't mean I can jump into another relationship even if I really want to be with Faith. I just can't, not right now. Not like this."**

Her friends remained quiet for a minute, thinking about her words and the truth in them.

"**I agree with you. You're right. You have to go."** Willow said, nodding supportively.

"**Thank you."**

"**Yeah, I'm surprised, but I understand Buffster."**

"**Thanks Xander. Dawn ?"**

"**Sure, if you need it. It's just very sudden. What does Faith think ?"**

"**I think Buffy is free to do whatever she wants."**

"**Guys, should I order Italian or Chinese ?"** Kennedy interrupted, clearly disinterested in the conversation now that it was obvious that Buffy and Faith had _done it_. That was all she had wanted to know in the first place.

* * *

><p>"<strong>I don't want you to leave."<strong>

"**You know I have to, Faith."**

"**I _know_. Doesn't mean I _want_ you to."**

Buffy smiled when she saw the pout on the brunette's lips and she quickly kissed it away. After eating lunch with their friends, they had gone back to Buffy's apartment to pack a bag for the blonde. They were now at the airport, just the two of them.

"**Where will you go ?"**

"**I don't know yet. I need some fresh air."**

"**Montana ?"** Faith said in a teasing tone.

"**Maybe."** Buffy answered seriously.

"**Just make sure you have a signal there, or wherever you go. I want to be able to call you at least once a day."**

"**I will. You should go now. I'll just buy a ticket for the next destination they have within the US."**

"**Alright. You sure you don't want me to stay ?"**

"**Hmm. If you stay I'll be too tempted to stay too. You have to go."**

"**Fine, I'll go."**

But Faith didn't move an inch, and Buffy dropped her bag and put her arms around the brunette's neck.

"**I am so happy right now."**

"**I'll be even happier when you'll be back."**

Buffy slowly leaned in and brought her lips to Faith's. Immediately the other Slayer kissed her back eagerly. Once breathing became necessary they pulled apart.

"**I love you."** Faith mumbled against the blonde's lips.

"**I love you too."** She whispered back.

After one last kiss, Buffy picked up her bag and walked away without looking back and Faith did the same. She had too, for fear that if she looked one more time at Buffy she would not be able to let her go.

* * *

><p><strong><em>So, there ! Satsu's gone and she won't be coming back. Only one chapter left, so feedback is welcome !<em>**

**_OTH-FOQ_**


	14. Chapter 14

_It's cheesy, it's corny, it's the **end**. Thank you all for the reviews, for putting this story in your favorites. It means a lot._

_I know this is no spectacular way to end a story but I needed to finish it before completely losing inspiration. Hopefully it won't suck too much._

_You're free to give one last review, I'll be glad to read and answer you._

* * *

><p>The moon lights up the whole sky and Faith has no problem to see around her clearly. Her slayer's abilities help her too. She's been fighting a lot more vampires lately than since she got out of jail years ago. But she needs that to forget about Buffy's absence. She misses the blonde like crazy and feels like she's going to go insane if Buffy doesn't come back soon. She hasn't received a lot of news during the past week and it frustrates her to no end. So instead of waiting by the phone or leaving a message every time the woman she loves doesn't pick up the phone, Faith beats up vampires.<p>

Surprisingly however, the night is calm. A lot calmer than usual. Something is wrong, Faith can feel it. For a brief moment she wonders if Kennedy has already patrolled before her tonight, but then she dismisses the idea. Her friend would have told her if she had done so. Maybe the evil creatures have decided to take the night off, knowing that there is a very pissed off Slayer itching to kill them. Or maybe…

Faith is pulled out of her thoughts by a ruffling sound on her left, in the bushes she's walking past. She stops and listens carefully. There's definitely someone—_or something_—there. At this precise moment, a dog hurls somewhere near in the neighborhood and Faith startles. She takes a deep breath and tries to refocus but it's too late. She hears nothing now. Frustrated, she gives a kick in the bushes and suddenly there's someone laughing behind her. Someone's laugh that she could recognize anywhere. She spins round and doesn't even have time to react that she finds herself losing her balance under the weight of her opponent who just tackled her to the ground. They fall heavily, half in the bushes, but Faith doesn't even try to fight back. She's sworn years ago now that she'd never do anything to hurt this person again.

"**B…"**

"**Hello F. Surprised to see me ?"**

"**I… I didn't sense you coming."**

"**Hmm, I wonder why is that ? Maybe we should ask Willow later ? For now I just want you all to myself…"**

Buffy is lying on top of Faith with her full body weight pressing onto the brunette. She isn't expecting her to push her back immediately but Faith isn't in the mood. After the shock of the encounter, the Dark Slayer is feeling her anger rise within her. Finally they sit down side by side, in silence.

"**You were gone more than two months, Buffy. I tried to call you a thousand times but you only picked up the phone once or twice in a week. You gave no news during the past week ! And now you're back and I'm supposed to welcome you ?"**

"**Well… Yeah ?"** Buffy asks sheepishly.

"**No ! I was worried, I'm mad at you and don't expect me to throw you a welcome back party or anything like that ! I'm so pissed right now I could…"**

"**You're so hot when you're pissed."**

Faith stops mid-sentence and looks at Buffy as if she's grown horns.

"**What ?"**

"**I've missed you. But I needed space, Faith. And time. So yes, I didn't give many news but it's only because I had to think clearly, and if I spoke with you I knew I'd run back to you before I was ready."**

"**Ready for what ?"**

"**For you. I'm back now, and it's because I know what I want, and I'm not afraid to take it anymore. I want you, Faith. I'll take you and I'll have you, that is if you still want me."**

There is only one second of silence before Faith brings her lips to Buffy's and kisses her fiercely. The blonde's hands immediately find their place on the brunette's hips and bring her half on top of her. When they pull back, breathless, Faith asks with a grin :

"**What do you think ?"**

* * *

><p>As she lies in the grass, her hand holding Buffy's, Faith can't help smiling. A cemetery is certainly not the best place to make out, and yet it seemed to fit perfectly for them. Of course, since she's no long seventeen, Faith keeps her hands to herself—mostly—and only shares a few passionate kisses with the blonde Slayer because she knows that they're in a public place and there are rules to follow. But after all this time with only her imagination and memories of the night in the club, it is hard not to touch, not to <em>feel<em>. Especially when the object of her fantasies is more than willing to get _dirty_.

"**So, how long have you been stalking me ?"**

"**Since you left your place. It seems nice, by the way."**

"**It is."** Faith pauses, then adds : **"How did you know where I live ?"**

"**Oh, I… Hmm, I might've heard it from Willow."**

"**You… You gave news to Willow and not to me ?"**

"**No ! No, I just called her today and asked if you were still crashing at her place, and she told me you found an apartment. And then she gave me the address."**

"**So you've been following me since I left for patrol ?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**I've been out there for two hours, how was I not able to feel you through our connection ?"**

Again, Buffy looks guiltily at Faith through her eyelashes and whispers hesitantly :

"**I might have asked Willow to cast a spell to make it disappear for twenty-four hours… Please don't be mad, I just wanted to surprise you !"**

But the brunette's face is totally unreadable. Fearing that she might've done something really wrong, Buffy creeps closer to her and puts her right hand on Faith's stomach.

"**Faith, come on… I'm sorry. Don't be angry."**

"**I'm not. It's just… You're full of surprises. You're… different."**

"**Isn't that a good thing ? I mean, it's part of the reason why I needed to go away for a while. To figure out who I am now, what I want."**

"**And who are you, then ? Are you still the Buffy I fell for ?"**

"**Of course I am. I'll never stop being her."**

"**So, are you ready to step out of the closet ?"**

Buffy snorts at Faith's words.

"**I thought that dating Satsu had already made that clear to everyone around me, but if it didn't I can be a little more obvious about that."**

"**But I'm not Satsu. We have history, B. We go way back. Are you sure you're ready to be my girlfriend ?"**

"**I am more than ready. And I've never been so sure about something in my whole life."**

Faith looks down at the blonde's and grins.

"**One more question."**

"**Go ahead."**

"**Did you patrol earlier today ? I haven't killed anything tonight."**

Her girlfriend's smirk is self-explanatory.

"**I came back in the middle of the afternoon, I had nothing else to do. I've looked for some nests."**

"**Well, you did one hell of a job apparently. Now they all know the Golden Slayer is back in town."**

"**I never really left."**

Faith sighs and gets up, bringing Buffy up with her.

"**Come on, let's go. I don't wanna spend all night here. How do you feel about dancing ?"**

"**Sounds great. Lead the way, **_**girlfriend**_**."**

* * *

><p>"<strong>Oh my… I'm exhausted !"<strong>

"**Really ? It's not even been thirty minutes since we started dancing, B."**

"**Yeah but I've been up for hours and I killed more than twenty vampires today while you didn't catch one."**

"**I could've if you hadn't killed them all before !"**

"**Well, true."**

They laugh together and it feels good to be close to each other. They find an empty booth in a corner of the club and sit down side by side. Buffy is being very tactile and Faith isn't used to that but she's not going to complain. She's waited, dreamt of that for years and now it's happening. Slowly she leans in and kisses Buffy's lips lightly, then lets her mouth travels to the blonde's ear and whispers :

"**Remember the last time we came to that club ?"**

"**I remember the last time we **_**came**_**, yes."**

Faith leans back and looks at her girlfriend slightly shocked to hear this from her.

"**What ? You think you're the only one who can make people uncomfortable with words ?"**

"**You're not making me uncomfortable, just turned on."**

"**Really ? I wonder if there's anything we can do about that…"**

Her tone is more than flirtatious, it's dripping with undisclosed desire, and for a moment Faith can't think nor breath. Only when she feels Buffy's hand on her thigh, _very high_ on her thigh, does she snap out of her trance.

"**Okay, uh, how about we go back to my place ?"**

"**You sure you can hold on until there, F ?"**

"**I…"**

"**I know I can't."**

"**Yeah well, try because we're not having sex in the bathroom again. Come on !"**

At full speed, even on heels for Buffy, it only takes them ten minutes to reach Faith's apartment.

* * *

><p>Clothes are everywhere in the room. No, everywhere in the <em>whole flat<em>. The two Slayers successfully reached it the previous night but making their way to the bedroom was a whole different matter. Faith is glad that all the furniture wasn't there yet because they sure as hell would've broken half of it. She already has to replace the kitchen table.

"**Baby ?"**

It's Buffy's voice, coming from the bedroom where she left her a couple of minutes before. She quickly makes her way back there and opens the door, then watches the scene in front of her. Buffy is in her underwear, the blanket half covering her, resting on one elbow and looking at her.

"**So, baby huh ?"**

"**You don't like it ?"**

"**I like whatever name you feel like calling me."**

"**Great. Why are you out of the bed, psycho slut ?"**

"**Hey !"**

"**What ? You're the one who said…"**

"**I'll show you psycho slut !"**

Faith rushes to the bed and jumps on it and starts tickling Buffy everywhere until the blonde threatens to choke if she doesn't stop immediately, which she does. They lie side by side, breathless.

"**Where were you, Buffy ? You never told me." **Faith asks after a few seconds of silence.

"**I was… I was in Boston."**

Her answer makes the brunette turn round and face her, suddenly all serious.

"**Why ? Why Boston ? I thought you'd try Florida or something."**

"**I wanted to know you better, and I thought, why not see where she grew up ?"**

"**You went to my old place ?"**

"**Not exactly. I just visited the city. The whole city."**

Buffy's eyes never leave Faith's as she explains the reasons why she felt like it was necessary for her to go there.

"**I just needed to understand you better. I've seen beautiful things there. And I've seen ugly, too. I saw children playing in the streets when they should have been at school, and I saw some of them asking people for money. I saw sad and dirty faces. And I felt stupid to complain about my life because I had a great childhood, I never had to worry about food, and even if I'm not as bright as Willow, I had the chance to go to school. I've had all the things you never really had, Faith. And suddenly it all made sense to me. You. Who you were, and who you are now. How different our lives have been, and how similar they've become. How we were destined to each other. Why I couldn't ever truly win any battle against you. Because it was like fighting myself. This trip has made it pretty clear that no matter what happens, I can't get you out of my mind, my skin. I can't shake you, Faith, you're here and I want you to be here forever."**

"**I love you."** Faith blurts out, unaware of the tears that has come up to her eyes.

Buffy's thumb wipes them slowly and she smiles. That's when Faith realizes that everything she's been fighting for has paid off. The result is here. In her arms. And she's never letting her go.

"**I love you, too."** Buffy whispers. **"I've always loved you."**

"**Always ?"**

"**Unconsciously at first, but it was there. Deep down, I knew it. You were it for me, Faith. From the very beginning. That's why everything hurt so badly when things went out of control."**

"**Well, you could've spared me the heartbreak at that time."**

"**I'm sorry."**

"**Don't worry, sugar, you're all forgiven."**

They kiss sweetly, and then Buffy asks :

"**Sugar, huh ?"**

"**You don't like it ?"**

"**I like whatever name you feel like calling me. But more importantly, I like you, _F_."**

"**Good to know, _B_. Good to know."**

* * *

><p><em><strong>FIN<strong>_

_Once again, thank you for reading, for waiting patiently my updates that have been kind of irregular ! It was great writing for you (and for me too) !_

_Faith/Buffy are the true couple of BtVS. We all know it ;)_

_OTH-FOQ_


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